NEW YEAR’S EVE MAINSTAGE SPECTACULAR!
One Night, Two Shows, A Hell of a Party.











Join Geva Comedy Improv this New Year’s Eve for an unparalleled evening of comedic entertainment and nostalgic revelry as we bid a fond farewell to 2008 and usher in 2009 with all the glitz, glamour, and splendor it deserves. It’s the not-to-be-missed party of the year – so be sure to mark your calendars and book your tickets early.

WEDNESDAY December 31st, 2008
Shows at 7:30 pm and 10:30 pm
The Mainstage at Geva Theatre Center
75 Woodbury Blvd, Rochester NY 14607

We’ve swiped the keys to the Mainstage and are gearing up for our biggest show of the year with all the magic and excitement you can expect from GCI’s troupe of talented young performers. We’re busy tuning our voices, timing our dance moves and stretching our funny muscle for an action packed evening of wit, witticism, and impromptu onstage acrobatics.

Featuring live music, live performers, a cash bar with the lowest prices in town, prizes, a champagne toast at Midnight, and an epic after show party sure to crack the underlying foundation of the theatre. Check out the coolest live comedy performance this side of the International Date Line for an unprecedented New Year’s Eve event!

Shows are at 7:30 pm and 10:30 pm in the Mainstage of Geva Theatre Center, and ticket prices range from $15-$20! Group discount for parties of 5 or more available. Special discounted ticket packages available for a limited time only, so get your tickets early and don’t miss out on the best New Year’s deal in town!

Get the details and your tickets at Geva Comedy Improv or by calling 232-Geva (4382).

With so much fun packed into a single event, we had to get a special permit from the city to temporarily waive the municipal excitement ordinance - Be there, or your entire 2009 year is going to be lame…

GCI PRESENTS: Thanksgiving Safety 101

-----------------------FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE-----------------------
Jump start your shortened work week and prepare yourselves for the unavoidable Turkey-Day lethargy by kickin’ back and watching the most thankful GCI show since last Thanksgiving….






Geva Comedy Improv – SNOW-VEMBER SHOWS!




Friday November 21, 10:30 PM – THANKSGIVING FACE-OFF! Pilgrims VS. Turkeys
A special Thanksgiving edition of our Face-Off show in which two long-time bitter rivals will duke it out for honor, glory, and….pie. Will the puritanical Pilgrims pray their way to a poultry prize or will the Tryptophan toting Turkeys triumph? Come and watch the hot gravy covered action as it unfolds right before your hungry eyes based on audience suggestions. At the end of the night, the victors get to eat the losing team in a grandiose feast of thanks-for-giving-up-the-fight.

Saturday November 22 – A NUCLEAR FAMILY THANKSGIVING
It all starts at the breakfast table when three quirky family members of the audiences’ choice part ways and embark upon their own ill-fated adventures fueled by your suggestions. No matter what the stakes or where the day takes them, they’ve got to be home in time for Thanksgiving dinner…cornbread stuffing-filled hilarity and cranberry-topped excitement is sure to ensue.

Both shows are at 10:30 pm in the Nextstage at Geva Theatre Center, and they only cost $7! It’s cheaper than a turkey and funnier than a pilgrim – so bring your friends, enjoy our super cheap drink specials, and dream of mashed potatoes and green bean casserole while you suckle the juice from our funny bones.

Get your tickets online at http://www.gevacomedyimprov.org/ or by calling 232-Geva (4382).
Be there Squanto, or the Turkey gets it!


---------------END---------------

NOVEMBER SHOWS

Confounded technology has prevented us from updating our main page. We therefore have been unable to tell you that we have shows this November, on Friday 21 and Saturday 22, both at 10:30pm. If you show up and we're not there, it means that the evil Dr. Science, tiring of our attempts to make the website work, has turned us into tiny clockwork slaves for his dungeon laboratory. In which case, please send help!

Unprecedented Thriller footage

Here at Geva Comedy Improv, we don't usually practice our dancing.  But when Nick revealed he knew the Thriller dance we all jumped at the opportunity to learn.  Here's us with a near perfect thriller only hours before the zombie horror that struck the Nextstage.

GCI Infects Nextstage with Zombie Awesomeness

Halloween Weekend 2008 - Saturday night's Zombie Movie was a flesh-devouring monster of a show! Thanks to all of our volunteers who helped make it one of our strongest ever shows, and a big shout out to everyone who came to watch. Hopefully you all had as much fun as we did. Look for some pictures from the weekend to be posted to the media page on our website in the coming days. BRAAAAAAIIINS!

+++UPDATE+++
Pictures are up, and check out the only surviving footage from the end of the show. Top that, George Romero!

Faint of Heart, Ye Be Warned

Geva Comedy Improv is issuing a warning to the faint-of-heart and loose-of-bowels - the Improvised Zombie movie on November 1 is shaping up to scare your face right off. Please think twice about bringing anyone under the age of 15, and avoid sitting in any of the first 3 rows if you don't fancy a possible splattering of fluids. And by fluids, we mean fake-blood. Mostly.

BUY ONLINE

Look at this cheeky chap. Why is he so pleased with himself? Is it his delightful haircut? Perhaps his curiously futuristic computer monitor? No, silly - he just purchased his tickets for Geva Comedy Improv ONLINE!! Did you know that you can purchase tickets for our shows online? Well now you do!!! And buying online is no more expensive than buying your ticket from the box office - a measly $7.

So, why would you choose to buy online? Well A) to impress grandma with your mastery of the new technology, and B) to guarantee your seat for the show, which means that C) we have to turn suckers away at the door while you gloat inside with your heavily discounted beer.

So don't hesitate. Stop fantasizing about that guy's elegant hair, and rush to www.gevacomedyimprov.org to get tickets for our Halloween shows. Hurrah!

Someone should pay me money to make stuff like this.

I'd be great at it.

GCI Releases a Trifecta of Terror Trailers

Halloween Weekend Trailer
WARNING: Do not watch this if you are epileptic...Or if you are prone to nightmares...



Improvised Zombie Movie Trailer



Five Minutes of Fear Film Festival Trailer

What weird %#@ dreams may come

A SHOCKING PEEK INTO T.R.'s SUBCONSCIOUS

I awoke this morning just as I was about to take the stage in a subterranean fieldstone theatre as a last minute replacement for a key role in Monty Python’s SPAMALOT.

Strange, I know - but what’s even stranger is that just prior to my arrival at this underground basement-like theatre I, along with several other identity-less dream extras, were collateral damage in an argument which quickly escalated into a multi-pump gasoline fight (See graphic representation below from the hit movie Zoolander).






If dreams truly are, as Freud thought, "the royal road to the understanding of unconscious mental processes", I am inclined to surmise that last night must have been one hell of a horse and buggy ride with King George III holding the reigns of my psyche whilst mapquesting a navigational understanding of my neural network. At some point though, there was probably a large reflective warning sign which read “WRONG WAY” or “SERIES OF DANGEROUS BENDS”

On a final note, I do not believe this to be a “wish-fulfillment dream”. I have no desire to be unintentionally doused in carbon based fuels by two quarrelling jackasses moments before I have to take the stage in SPAMALOT. Wait, that was my Superego typing…my Id has a different view on the subject…oh great, now my Ego is getting all up in the mix and trying to negotiate a compromise between the two…ok I wouldn’t mind having to take the stage in SPAMALOT…just putting that out there…let me know if y’all need someone to fill in…

Make scary film. Win scary money

October 31, 7:30pm - Geva Comedy Improv is hosting the first annual FIVE MINUTES OF FEAR - a Halloween film festival open to all area filmmakers. We're inviting you to craft a 5 minute horror film, and we'll screen it before our undead audience. One lucky filmmaker will win a cash prize and have their film screened before our Zombie show on Saturday night. Full details on our website (gevacomedyimprov.org). Make sure you register to enter by October 10!

On Campaign Stickers

Hey everybody! John here. It's election time again, and you know what that means. It means people trying to sway your opinion on a who's a good leader using sticky paper. That's right, as if seeing somebody's name on enough bumpers is going to effect you when you're in the voting booth. Truth be told, I bet those stickers do more to get votes for the opposite canditate, whether it be Obama or McCain. Think about it; while seeing a name on a bumper doesn't do much to convince ya to vote for someone, seeing a name on a bumper that just cut you off is something you're gonna remember come November (which totally rhymes so it has to be true). And let's face it, everybody drives like a jerk every once in a while, even if it's accidental. The other reason not to have a candidate on your bumper is the post November blues where you now just have the name of a loser on your bumper. I still get a kick out of seeing Kerry '04 stickers on cars. So, in conclusion, please keep your presidential choice to beligerant conversation and facial tatoos, and leave your bumper sticker space free to instruct me to honk depending upon whether or not I am horny.

Godspeed,

JZ

Season Six Coming Soon

Get away from the stresses of school and work with Geva Comedy Improv.



Experience the magic again or for the first time September 12th and 13th.

GCI Announces TROPIC THUNDER Advance Screening Giveaway!

GCI has obtained a limited number of free passes to a special advance screening of:

TROPIC THUNDER

Tonight, Monday August 11th at 7:00 PM at Tinseltown 16 on Buffalo Road!

The next 5 lucky callers who contact me at (585) 232-1366 ext 3049 will receive 2 free passes each to aforementioned advance screening, courtesy of 100.5 The Drive and the Rochester Razor Sharks.

**Must be able to pick up passes at Geva Theatre Center, prior to 6:00 PM. Must also arrive early to advance screening. Seating is on a first-come, first served basis and is NOT guaranteed. The theatre is not responsible for seating over capacity. Neither is GCI. We're also not responsible if the movie blows, but I've seen some previews and I don't think that will be the case...CALL NOW!!

Local BBQ vanishes, Improvisers suspected

Troupe members from Geva Comedy Improv may have ordered, picked up, and then consumed food products from local barbecue supplier, Dinosaur BBQ, sources have told us. The incident purportedly occurred at approximately 8:45pm on Monday evening. Initial eyewitness reports give some indication of what happened.

"It went down lickety split, yo", Dinosaur BBQ patron Moira Rafnatty (pictured) told us. "I was hangin' in line to be seated, fo' real, when these two guys busted in, grabbed these wacky sacks of food and then boogied on out". When asked why she suspected the men of being improvisers, Rafnetty could only specify "Thems got the crazy-eye".

This wouldn't be the first time that Geva Comedy Improv has been implicated in the disappearance of consumables from Dinosaur BBQ. In September, 2004, local bikers confronted a man who had been seen loitering in the area. When diners became concerned, the bikers detained him until the authorities arrived. Clearly distressed, his only answer when questioned about his identity was "Yes, And pulled pork". Similar events have been reported monthly since the troupe was formed in 2002.

GCI spokesman Timothy 'T-Rizzle' Ryan was asked to comment on the situation. "The facts aren't clear, goddamn it", Ryan said. "but I must stress that improvisers are people too. When I cut them, do they not bleed?". He then proceeded to offer us a greasy wad of Kenyan 100 Shilling bills.

Ryan refused to confirm or deny reports that troupe member Nick 'Nick' DiCola (pictured) was seen leaving Geva Theatre Center (where the troupe performs) at approximately 9:45pm with a red, sauce-like stain on his otherwise unblemished shorts.

Calls to DiCola for comment were not returned. At this time, authorities are encouraging local barbecue restaurant owners to remain calm and vigilant. City officials also released the following advice for members of the public, in the event that they encounter a BBQ-laden improviser:

1) Make plenty of wild, sudden movements, so that you are not mistaken for a slab of delicious, smoked brisket.

2) If you are extremely rich or attractive, proffering up a bag of money or your phone number may distract the improviser long enough to escape.

3) If the improviser attempts to engage you in conversation, respond only with contradictions, denials and rhetorical questions. The improviser will hopefully lose interest in you.

JEFF LATOY'S MOM WINS LOLLYPOP - Penguin no longer available!

At 6:58 PM, precisely 51 minutes after the GCI LOLLYPOP GIVEAWAY was announced, friend of GCI and mother of current SUMMER IMPROV BOOTCAMP RECRUIT Jeff Latoy called the hotline to triumphantly claim her prize!

When informed the penguin lollypop originally hails to us from Washington D.C. (perhaps he is an ambassador?), Mrs. Latoy replied:

"I will treasure it always."

Ambassador Penguin Lollypop will be escorted to the Latoy residence on Tuesday, August 5th when Jeff takes full possession of the prize at a private ceremony to be held at an undisclosed location.

Congratulations to Jeff's Mom for some quick dialing! Be sure to stay tuned to our blog for more exciting giveaways sure to come over the next few weeks as we transition to a new fiscal year!

GCI ANNOUNCES LOLLYPOP GIVEAWAY!

Howdy all ye internet surfers out there...I'm currently cleaning my office at GCI headquarters and came across a red translucent lollypop in the shape of a penguin...



I am pleased to announce that I will give said delicious lollypop to the first person who calls me at (585) 232-1366 ext 3049. Supplies are limited - CALL NOW TO WIN!

T.R. Out.

* Geva Comedy Improv, it's agents, officers and assigns are not eligible to win. Penquin pictured is not actual lollypop but is merely a pictorial representation of what a penguin in an elf hat might look like if they were eating a lollypop. It is included in this post for promotional purposes only and is in no way intended to deceive participants into thinking THAT is the actual prize. Certain restrictions apply. Not valid in TN. Exact time of post 7/31/2008 6:07 PM

JZ planning to "Totally see the crap" out of upcoming movie

Hey everybody, John here. Ya know what I like in my movies? ecxitement. Normally I satisfy this craving with kung-fu movies, but I think I'm willing to make an exception for this movie:



YEEEAAHHHH!!! Boom! BAM! KA-BLAAAM!!!!! Did you see that?!?! When the burning car flew through the air!? or when the spikes came out? when those cars shot those machine guns!? Congratulations Mr. Deathrace director, you have my nine bucks. I'm truly not being sarcastic here at all. I am seeing this movie in the theater. It's gonna be rough as I plan on simultaniously blaring AC/DC and drinking whiskey out of a dented, rusty can. But hey, I like complete immersion in my movie going experience.

SEASON VI COMETH....

The lights have gone down on Season V, and we're taking a month off to catch up on our drinking, punish JZ for being so much taller than anyone else, watch The Dark Knight until we can all talk in a constant growl like Christian Bale, and generally make preparations to blow your minds out of your eye-sockets next season.

We'll be kicking off in September with a triple-header of shows, including the first of our brand-new EARLY shows. That's right - on select show weekends we're adding a 7:30pm performance so that you can get your GCI fix before hitting the bar (and so that our parents can watch the whole performance without falling asleep halfway through).

The complete season schedule:

September 12 10:30pm
September 13 7:30pm & 10:30pm
October 31 10:30pm
November 1 10:30pm
November 21 10:30pm
November 22 10:30pm
December 31 7:30pm & 10:30pm
January 16 10:30pm
January 17 7:30pm & 10:30pm
February 13 10:30pm
February 14 10:30pm
March 27 10:30pm
March 28 10:30pm
May 1 10:30pm
May 2 10:30pm
May 29 10:30pm
May 30 7:30pm & 10:30pm
June 26 10:30pm
June 27 7:30pm & 10:30pm

December 31st will once again be our NEW YEAR'S EVE spectacular, and somewhere in there we'll be cramming in a new GEVAPOCALYPSE NOW. Season VI promises to be bigger, funnier, and more likely to buy a round of drinks at the Geva bar. See you there!

BAD AIR - COMING SOON TO A NEXTSTAGE NEAR YOU!

We spent $56,000 to create a trailer for BAD AIR, our final show of Season V...

Click to play

Last night, in preparation for our airplane thriller movie, we watched the disaster movie classic, AIRPORT. The plot was pretty simple - a suicidal man plans to detonate a briefcase full of dynamite on a plane, to reap life-insurance money for his widow. When his plan fails, the bomb goes off anyway, and the plane is forced to land amid a DEADLY SNOWSTORM. For being quite straightforward the movie had a TON of setup (in 2 hours of movie only about 40 minutes actually took place in the air). We learned several important things:

1) It is impossible to live a monogamous lifestyle if you are involved in the aviation industry. Rampant affairs are the order of the day. Also, Dean Martin is a douche-bag.

2) A dynamite briefcase will only make a modest hole in a Boeing 707 - at least, one built in the 1970's. It is possible that row after row of orange-on-brown seat covers will absorb some of the blast.

3) Sweet, innocent looking old ladies can prove to be some of the most devious creatures you will ever encounter. In the movie, the (admittedly woefully shoddy) airport security of the time is made mockery of by 65-year old Helen Hayes.


If Al-Queda could harness the power of the elderly, the West would crumble quicker than a Walmart patio set.


4) TR has a disturbing affection for sweet, innocent looking old ladies. Paging Harold and Maude...

5) If you have wedged a jumbo-jet into a snow drift, there is only one solution...FULL POWER. Mother Nature is no match for the mighty Pratt & Whitney JT3D jet engine. You think your plane is going to explode into shiny splinters...that's when you have to crank it up another notch, to break free in a burst of glory and slush.

6) Lastly, the power of suggestive advertising - check out the poster for this movie - looks exciting, right? That plane, all engulfed in flames?


Shame that never happens in the movie.
That would have been neat.


I'm glad we watched the movie, and I'm sure we'll steal scenes from it shamelessly in BAD AIR - however, here's some things that would have made this movie a lot more awesome:

1) TERRORISTS
I know, there was a guy on board with a bomb, but he wasn't a real terrorist. We need some ethnically ambiguous (preferably vaguely Eastern European) nutcases with a political agenda, so that we can all feel fiercely patriotic in a quietly liberal way when they are either arrested or, better yet, violently decompressed through a cabin window.



2) SNAKES
The central tenet of the aiplane movie genre is that you can't escape from whatever problem you're having on the plane. Snakes are a thematically awesome problem to be having, because we hate snakes, we hate being on planes, snakes hate being on planes, and everybody hates getting bitten by snakes on planes.



3) ZOMBIES
Sadly, we did not have time to watch the awesomely titled FLIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD. I tremble when I think of the possibilities. I propose a crossover - SNAKES VS ZOMBIES: INFLIGHT REFRESHMENT OF TERROR...

Like, whoa.

This is totally righteous.

I think the most incredible part about this page is not that they say jesus probably rode dinosaurs, but that they say "we know that dinosaurs survived the flood on Noah's Ark." How can this be possible? Anyone who saw Jurassic Park 2: The Lost World knows that it would never work. However, Dino-riding Jesus could make me a believer.

Sherlock Holmes and Professor Moriarty

If you're one of the complete fools who missed our season revue, this video from youtube presents a pretty accurate depiction of what happened in the Sherlock Holmes segments.



Enjoy!

We could've done this.

I think we could make a pretty sweet Van Halen video. Agree or Disagree?

---------FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE ---------

For the first time in the storied history of Geva Comedy Improv, we will be attempting to produce an epic reduction of the ENTIRE GEVA THEATRE CENTER SEASON, as GCI proudly presents:

GEVAPOCALYPSE NOW
May 21 – May 24, 2008
Geva Theatre’s entire season, performed by eight guys. In 90 minutes.
Partially scripted, partially improvised, entirely hilarious.
Strong language and adult content. Recommended for age 16 and up.
Tickets: $7

On the Nextstage:

Wednesday May 21st 7:30 PM

Thursday May 22nd 7:30 PM

Friday May 23rd 7:30 PM and 10:30 PM

Saturday May 24th 7:30 PM and 10:30 PM

THE STORY: In today’s frenzied and fast-paced world, who has time to lounge about the theatre basking in the glow of the most significant dramatic works of our time? Well, 11,400 Season Subscribers…but if you’re not among that group, or if you were out of town and missed your favorite play this season, the brutally efficient cast of Geva Comedy Improv has condensed, reduced, truncated, abbreviated and distilled 7 Mainstage productions and 14 Rochester TheatreFest productions into one single 90 minute performance.

From the Mainstage:
Sherlock Holmes: The Final Adventure
Doubt
Cabaret
A Christmas Carol
Bad Dates
The Piano Lesson
Pride and Prejudice

From the Nextstage:
Tea at Five... PUSH Physical Theatre
The Fantasticks... Frozen
I Am My Own Wife... Rapunzel
Smokey Joe’s Café... Very Truly Yours, Gilbert and Sullivan
Plaid Tidings... Side Show
All My Sons... May God Strike Me Dead...
Talking Heads... Dames at Sea


THE EXPERIENCE: A sharply witty theatrical tour-de-force that will leave you dizzy with excitement.

THE BUZZ: Critics are raving “This has the potential for greatness, it could also be a spectacular trainwreck…Live action theatrical cliff notes for the hurried patron of the arts…theater-goers will never sit through a full length performance again!”

THE FINE PRINT: Strong language and adult content. Recommended for age 16 and up.


Get your tickets at the Geva Theatre Box office, online at www.gevacomedyimprov.org or by calling 232-Geva (4382).

TR travels through time to celebrate with himself

Unable to find anyone to go grab a beer with Saturday evening, TR ingeniously created a time machine so he could travel fifteen minutes back into the past and drink a beer with himself. "Really," TR remarked later, "I am the best company, so this just made sense to do." TR conversed with his past self regarding the quality of the beer he was drinking and his impeccable sense of style. "I then warned my past self that if he doesn't build a time machine immediately and travel back to this moment, none of this will ever happen, creating a time paradox and ripping apart the space-time continuum," TR explained. "Of course, I already knew I would build the time machine, I had the idea for it before I even got there."

Paul procrastinates by uploading pictures to the blog

Enjoy some hot pics from Friday Night's STALKER. The Geva crew kicked off St. Patrick's day weekend with a gripping tale of squirrels, revenge, and personal discovery.


Shawnda consoles a grieving Liam.


Paul fulfills a lifelong fantasy.


Nick always looks great in this wig.


TR, Shawnda, and Liam watch from the side.


Brian is arrested for being violent. Why was he violent? We'll never know.


When I first saw TR grab that hook and made that long hook thing, I thought to myself, "Ah, he's going to play Captain Ahab." Playing a great white shark myself, I prepared to engage him in a naval battle. "Kick ass, I love Ahab scenes," I mused.
In this picture, TR is actually Triton, Lord of the Deep. Nick is playing his son, Francis.


We were looking at... something.


Fortunately, Newscopter 5 was there to to take all of these great pictures!

Just kidding, all of our pictures are taken by Kevin Leas. Here is a charming pic of the often photographing rarely photographed Leas celebrating St. Patrick's Day with Brian. Brian was later beaten for not wearing green on St. Patrick's Day. We take that kind of thing really seriously.

T.R. FORGETS TO SET CLOCK AHEAD, Remains wholly unaffected for entire day

By Benjamin Franklin
GCI Time Keeper/Resident Lightning Rod

Citing confusion and general uncertainty in regard to the exact date of daylight savings time, T.R. neglected to set his clock ahead early Sunday morning.

“I inquired about the time change earlier this week, but my roommate was equally uninformed. I knew it was coming up and also mentioned it to several of my colleagues but I actually thought it was next week. You can imagine my surprise when I found out that I had completely missed it!”

The realization came a full 13 hours after the appointed 2 am time shift when T.R. picked up a copy of the Democrat and Chronicle and spied a headline about switching clocks ahead one hour.

“I thought, oh great, now I can find out for certain what day I need to set my watch ahead while I loudly exclaimed; ‘Hey, when are we supposed to change our clocks anyway?’”

Several staff members at the Geva Theatre Café along with a House Manager were present onsite as the shocking revelation manifested itself.

In response to T.R.’s audible query, the House Manager (who wishes to remain anonymous) responded; “It was last night.”

Sources close to Geva revealed that the staff were concerned when they realized that T.R. had actually arrived on time to house manage a show on the Nextstage.

“It’s pretty amazing when you think you about it…here’s a guy who was walking around all day an hour behind the entire World, yet he miraculously shows up to work on time for some unknown reason - SPOOKY…”

Local authorities are still investigating, but a spokesman from the Sheriff’s office offered a likely scenario:

“At this juncture, we have reason to believe that Mr. Ryan was relying almost primarily on his cell phone clock in the hours preceding his arrival to the theatre.”

When confronted with these most recent findings, T.R. had only this to say:

“Wow, look at the time, I really have to be going now.”

GEVA COMEDY IMPROV ATTENDS OSCAR PARTY: ROCKS IT HARDCORE

This past Sunday, Geva Comedy Improv performed at the George Eastman House Academy Awards Party. Many laughs were laughed, glasses clinked and mini-quiches devoured; when the blinding flash-bulbs of the paparazzi faded, GCI brought the ruckous and carved the marble dance floor of the Conservatory into a sculpted mosaic of epic dance moves. Stay tuned for more pictures and updates from our glamorous evening with Oscar and Rochester's social elite.

Exciting Improv Workshop!

This Saturday 2/23/08 GCI will be hosting a 2-hour improv workshop at Geva Theater Center! Learn the tricks of the trade or just come to play around. Either way, it will be a good time. The workshop is being taught by Nick DiCola and Paul Nellis.

Geva Theatre Center
1:30pm
$20.

Chutes and Explosions

Hey, John here. This past weekend some friends and I ventured to the majestic paradise known as Erie, PA. "Why would he drive close to three hours to visit such a soul-crushing place?" you may ask. The simple answer to that is.. Waterslides!!! Erie has one of the biggest indoor water-parks in this region of the country! They have a lot of great slides, as well as an arcade and a hot-tub for grown-ups (impoortant for those of us with a limited tolerance of children). of all the fun waterslides, though, one stood head and shoulders above the rest: Hurricane Hole. By far one of the most fun activities named after a naural disaster, the hurricane hole consists of a relatively straight tube leading downwards towards a bowl similar to that found in your common lavatory. after building up 40 mph in the tube, the rider is shot into the bowl where they careen in circles for about a half-minute until dropping out the bottom into a pool of water. Note Figure 1:


(Fig. 1)

Needless to say, plenty of fun was had at the water park. More good times were to be had, however, when on the way home we saw this sign on the side of the highway:



That's right! Fireworks and martial arts, baby! The actual name of the store is Fireworks and Karate Supplies, and the sign that actually hooked us (but was passed too fast to get a picture of) Read: Fireworks!! Swords, Knives, Pepper Spray and Stun Guns!!! Holy Geeze, that sign could only be better if it contained pornography and whip-its! I can see now that I've already surpassed my exclamation point quotient on this post, so I'll just sign off now.

Have a good one.

Paul Nellis unveils Nellis Pale Ale

Last Thursday evening, I invited the cast of GCI over to my apartment to watch LOST and try the new microbrew I made under my sink. Here is a photo of the cast enjoying the new brew.

The beer was cold and delicious. Pizza tasted better when it was washed down by this delicious brew. I made the beer using a Mr. Beer brewing kit that my brother gave me for Christmas. The beer fermented for about three weeks under my sink (which made it quite potent) and then another ten days of carbonating in the fridge. The result was simply to die for. I am currently planning for my next batch, which I believe will be a Nellis Lager.

Oh yeah, the new episode of LOST ruled!

Check this out. Now.

Put on some headphones and click on this.

http://media.putfile.com/virtual-barbershop

Neck Snaps

There recently has been public outcry surrounding Geva Comedy Improv's performances, claiming that perhaps we snap each others necks too often. Isn't there another creative way to kill someone on stage quickly when they say things that make no sense?

I think not. Neck-snapping is hilarious. It's quick and painless. Our only form of capital punishment should be neck snaps. It would save hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars every year! People of Rochester, please consider neck-snapping when performing one of your signature acts of street violence. Save me the trouble of going to the hospital and dying painfully, but rather rid my body of all life instantly by simply snapping my neck. It is the right thing to do.

Still not convinced that a neck snap is the best way to do away with someone? Please enjoy Steven Seagal's Letterbox 2000 and then see how you feel.



And quit your whining.

Shoelace Express Dominates Nextstage

In a contest that can only be described as heated, the Shoelace Express steamrolled the Roc-City Rackateers last night with a score of 19-15. Thanks to a stage invasion by the cast of Cabaret, they left the first half of the show with a healthy lead.


The second half of the show started with a more focused effort from the Roc-City Rackateers which culminated with a heart-warming birthday gift to 24 year old Caroline in the form of a Mocha Nipple Jam. The Shoelace Express lashed back with an epic Rock Opera chronicling the adventures of two nuns on a holy crusade to retrieve the banana of Jesus.



Stay tuned for more hot improv announcements and pictures from the show.

Geva Comedy Improv is back on the Nextstage March 23rd and 24th.

Theatre Sports Notes!

The Pretentious Improv Group struck out into an early lead last night with key first half successes in Columns and Sounds like a song. The Beowolves struggled to find their footing in Three-Way Dub and the Ratings Board.
At the half PIG was in the lead with a score of 9 - 4.

The laughs came easier for the Beowolves in the second half and when the match was called by the Referee the teams were tied with scores of 13 - 13. PIG challenged the Beowolves to a dance contest to Right Said Fred's "I'm too Sexy." The two teams marveled the audience with the majesty of their dancing prowess, and thanks to an entrance worthy of an 80's romantic comedy by Nick DiCola, the Beowolves won in the end.



Don't Miss tonight when the Roc-City Racketeers take on the Shoelace Express!

This Weekend's line-up!

Tonight! The 2008 season of Theatre Sports kicks off at 10:30pm!

This evenings line-up:



VS



See who wins in the Nextstage tonight, and tomorrow its...




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Choose your favorite team and come root for them!

BE THERE.

Geva Theatre Center Nextstage
Jan. 25th and 25th 2008, 10:30pm
Theatre Sports Kick - Off
$7 (cheap)

SUPER TERRIFIC JAPANESE PIZZA TIME

Super Terrific Japanese Pizza Time Dancing vegetables, crying pizza slices. You guessed it! It`s another wacky Japanese commercial!

NEW TEST RESULTS REVEAL: UNABLE TO TAKE THE PRESSURE

By T.R.
GCI Watchman

Like many people across the World who are concerned with matters of timeliness, I wear a timepiece. Shortly before the first of the year, my watch battery mysteriously died, making me something which I had hoped would not occur for many years yet to come; timeless. When such events occur, I am apt to take certain actions in order to rectify the problem and did so in this circumstance as well. After a grueling exchange with an attendant at the jewelry counter of an unnamed chronographer, I was directed to the Dakota Watch Company kiosk at the mall. The technician behind the counter was very knowledgeable and was able to switch out my watch battery quite efficiently, but then became very concerned when she realized:

“Oh…I never quoted you a price for the battery, did I?”

This confused me, as I have never been in a situation where I felt I needed to get multiple quotes on a watch battery, and assured the young lady that whatever the charge was I would be more than happy to pay it. She appeared relieved, which only further confused me into thinking I should have turned this simple errand into more of an elaborate inconvenience as I traversed the greater Rochester area for the lowest priced watch battery I could find. I quickly dismissed this idea on the grounds of complete absurdity and watched (no pun intended) as the technician placed my watch into some kind of an electro-mechanical device (see picture above) which I assumed to be some kind of automatic watch cleaning machine…it turns out, I was wrong and would soon be told some shocking news.

With all the sincerity and gravitas of an emergency room physician who has the unfortunate task of informing family members of their loved one’s prognosis, the watch technician looked compassionately at me from behind the gleaming glass of the display case and spoke:

“I just put your watch through a pressure test to gauge the integrity of its water resistance and it…FAILED. Your watch is rated for 165 feet…I strongly recommend that you DO NOT go any further than 135 feet underwater.”




I was dumbfounded. This is not a diving watch, nor do I engage in SCUBA activities, but if I did, and if you are familiar with the watch that I typically wear, you would share the same sentiment that no one in their right mind would wear this watch outside of a strictly urban setting, let alone submerge it hundreds of feet below sea level. At this point, I deliberately shut my brain off and allowed myself to get dizzy as she proceeded to give me an in depth seminar on the water resistant elements of horology. After several minutes of technical jargon, discussion of dual o-rings around the crown and bezel and the prospect of preventative maintenance and the replacement of faulty parts, I smiled charmingly, handed over my debit card and replied:

“Thank you for the information, but to be honest with you, If I happen to be 165 feet underwater, the internal structural integrity of my watch will be the least of my concerns. In fact, at that point, I don’t think owning a watch will be necessary at all, unless I wanted to accurately account for the remaining seconds of my life as I tried to remember the bizarre and unlikely events that transpired which led me to be 165 feet underwater.”

In a world already wrought with innumerable stressors, I am now forced to add yet another line item to my long list of things I need to worry about – are the o-rings on my chronograph a mere 30 feet from structural failure? Ironically, I am forced to gaze upon the very device in question and live everyday in uncertainty – for only time will tell. Well, that and a hell of a lot of water...