Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Faunal Fury Forges Feud for House of TNT

"An Englishman's home is his castle." Though no Englishman resides in the house of Ted, Nick, and TR, (the dynamite triumvirate henceforth known as TNT) we regard our domicile as a king would his castle. Due to recent events, our apartment seems to have become a breeding ground of unwanted animal activity. No, not literally animals breeding, but strange occurrences and uncharacteristic boldness of local creatures.

The first event went down a few weeks ago. During the heat of late July and a solitary fit of ennui from our then house guest Laura, a batch of brownies found themselves freshly made and placed on the counter to await dreaded consumption. I was away that afternoon, but returned to a pan of shredded brownies in the sink and a chewed screen in the kitchen window. To my understanding, a big-ass squirrel had the nerve to chew a hole through our screen and romp around in our brownie pan! It was a huge corralling effort on behalf of our roommates but it ran out through the door in the end.

Eventually other creatures like ants started appearing around our kitchen sink, stealing crumbs. We noticed a hive of wasps above one of our windows. These little friends of ours like to hang out with us on our porch and fly into our packets of hot dogs yet to be grilled, and then into the grill itself.

A couple weeks later, Ted and TR returned from a clam bake in Rhode Island bringing with them all the leftovers, bags of cookies (chocolate chip and Heath) that TR's mother baked for us. The morning after theei return, I found a shredded plastic bag of the chocolate chip cookies in the sink and a trail of crumbs leading to the window where the hole that was there before now was double in size. TWO BATCHES OF FRESH BAKED GOODS HAVE BEEN DESTROYED. That squirrel dared to do it again. I saw him, the fat little tard on the fence looking into the kitchen, wondering when I would leave so it can chew its way in again and leave me a pellet of gratitude.

Damn squirrels.

The next day was another strange occurrence. I was leaving the apartment to go back to work when I saw, on our porch, two creatures parting ways. The larger one flew away across the street and the smaller one fell straight to the floor.





A hawk had killed and beheaded a pigeon on our front porch. The feathers from the incident were all over the floor, on our furniture and stuck to little niblets of bird offal hear and there. I, of course, had to go to work but I made sure I got proof of the carnage that happened on our porch. Ted was the first to return home to all of the mess.

Yes...our windows in the kitchen are now kept closed with now air passing through. Yes...we now have 3 ant hotels around our sink, our porch is equipped with wasp killer, and yes...we're hoping that the next hawk victim on our porch is a cute, fat, innocent little squirrel. But we will not live in fear of animals taking over our home.

We are ready for the next crazy occurrence, in fact we invite you animals, but just remember, if you mess with TNT, you get...exploded!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Things I'm Diggin

TV....GCI's own John Zaffino has been praising the tv show BURN NOTICE for quite some time now and recently I was able to see why. This is a kick-ass show, with an engaging plot, enough action, sex, and comedy, and very watchable actors. My wife and I got our hands on the first season and watched it all in one week. With all the crap tv that happens during the summer, I highly recommend you get your meat hooks on BURN NOTICE.

BOOKS....I'm sure many people have read "Angela's Ashes" by Frank McCourt, but let me tell you his younger brother Malachy also scribbled out a memoir called "A Monk Swimming" which is a fantastic read. Frank's book was great, but younger bro has more humor, funnier/wilder stories, and writes like no one else you have ever read. Plus he is Irish...enough said.

HANG-OUTS....I am one of those people who loves sittin back on a front porch and doin whatevs, so I've been basking in the funky glow on the front porch of GCI cast memebers Ted, Nick, and TR's apartment. It's the place to be for PBR, cigars, and grilled meats.

-LIAM

WORLD OF BOOM


This week's installment of World of Boom features the most deadly of all forms of combustion - the verbal explosion. Watch as this biker gets NAILED by a passing car and recovers with freakish, Wolverine-like swiftness to launch his linguistic counter-attack. Really? Not even a brief pause to check you still have all your fleshy bits? Nope, this dude is a-oh-kay, and is awarded the World of Boom Iron Pentacle of Fortitude.

Sunday, August 23, 2009



Big GCI News! John got married this weekend!!

We all attended the grand gala and it was just as great as I thought it would be!
At dinner, our lovely friend Alyssa noticed that we all wore a different color of the rainbow!What group mind. No one wore the same color and together we represented something rare and beautiful. *tear* I love you guys.

Congratulations John!!!!

<3 Corinne

Friday, August 21, 2009

Working out pays off.

Did you know in the early morning MTV actually shows videos??? During an unusually motivated morning work out this came on my TV and I fell in love. It was like the Gods were rewarding me for getting my booty out of bed and to the gym. I love the imagery and the fly beats. Hope you do too. <3 Corinne

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The BBC on Zombies...

Posted on the Science section of the BBC website is the following article entitled: "Science Ponders 'zombie attack'"

In the article, Canadian researchers contemplated the possibility of a world-wide zombie attack, and asked the question: could humankind survive? The conclusion was a resounding "eh, maybe?"

As one reads further into the article it is possible to become even less confident in the potential survival of humankind. Apparently, Canadian researchers only considered "classic" zombies in their study... So, if our chances are slim for quelling a force of sloth-like, brain-less goons, it would seem that if the zombies moved any quicker then a slow walk we're screwed.

However, do not fear as there are several parts of this study that should just not be trusted. (1) First, the lead mathematician is a man named Robert Smith?. Don't trust this man, he has a question mark at the end of his name. (2) Second, the outcomes were created numerically... numerically?! People are NOT numbers! Come on, Robert Smith?. (3) Thirdly, Professor Neil Ferguson, one of the leaders in controlling swine flu in London, isn't worried. If he's not worried, I'm not worried. For all we know, swine flu might be the beginnings of a zombie pandemic.

The real question is where does human compassion come into play. According to the mathematical exercise in Canada; if Zombies attack, then you must kill them... IMMEDIATELY! But logic and numbers mean nothing when you're face to face with this...

Could you kill such a beautiful angel?! I sure couldn't. I wouldn't harm a hair on his perfectly sculpted physique, even if he was ripping my arm off. So, after doing my own study on the human condition, I conclude that the only way humans have any chance of surviving a zombie attack... is if only ugly people become zombies. Here's to hoping.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Weather Report From Ted

It's really hot out. The sun hurts my overtly Irish, mildly Mediterranean skin. It's difficult to stay positive in such conditions. It's hard to type with no air-conditioning. Damn you August. You and your no holidays...

Monday, August 10, 2009

JZ presents two things that are inherently good:

Water-slides and Huey Lewis and the News.... just puttin' that out there.

Monday, August 03, 2009

Enter the World of Boom



Hey, 'splosion fans, Chris here. My previous post, 'Chris Likes Stupid Guns' got me thinking. And by thinking I mean, trolling Youtube for footage of explosions. With that in mind, I'm proud to present World of Boom, a hopefully regular article, featuring some form of ridiculous gun, jet, explosion or other example of sharp bits of metal moving really fast. Why does the world need such an article, you ask? I think it was Swedish crooners Roxette who first instructed us to 'Listen to Your Heart'. And wouldn't you know it, your heart goes boom!

Today's video: three Panavier Tornado jets perform an ultra-low flyby at an air show. Pilot #3 wins the coveted World of Boom Award For Crazy.