Monday, March 30, 2009

GCI Luddites learn to blog

Select GCI members, longtime enemies of technology, were tonight educated on the workings of the GCI blog. Here they are, getting to grips with the clicking and pointing:















Look forward to future posts, fraught with typos, syntax errors, non-sequiturs and irrelevant gibberish...

GCI is beyond reproach...


Join us for Risqué Business on April 7 and 9 at 6:30pm
Hot times. Bad decisions. Cold beer.




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Ted Limpert is Scammed by the Interweb... for the Last Time

Some (Former Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens) say the internet is a series of tubes, others (wikipedia) say it is a global network of interconnected computers, Ted Limpert says that the world wide web is a communal harbor for cruelty, malicious deceit, and villainous trickery and its tyrannical reign must come to an end. Ted Limpert has been fooled by this interconnected monstrosity for the last time!

What has the internet brought to us other than a flood of virtual vices more addictive than the most dangerous illegal substances. It has created a stage for irritating people to comment on worldly events and carry on meaningless uninformed arguments. It allows everyone the equal opportunity to post their minute to minute activities that absolutely no one else cares about. And worst of all it has elevated the free-trial info-mercial universe to a frightening new level (freecreditreport.com I'm talkin' about you!). This is where Ted Limpert draws the line.

Yes the internet is also known as the "information highway," an educational resource made available to almost everyone, but have we gotten any smarter. Yes it is a vehicle for communication, striving to make this "small world" even smaller, but last time I checked a mile was still 5,280 feet. And yes it also provides an avenue for romance, connecting people with people (and sometimes providing a pathway that helps people connect better with themselves), but has it ever gotten me laid?! The answer is no. All it has done is given greedy vendors a place to say "hey, little innocent googler, here's 7 dvds for 49 cents each, isn't that a great deal?... OH WAIT, now you owe me 150 dollars and your soul." It is despicable, and I will accept no responsibility for reading or not reading license agreements, who has that kind of time?! The internet is the wicked witch of the east and Ted Limpert is bouts to drop a house on it's ass.

Al Gore may have created this beast, but it is up to us to destroy it! And we must do it before it is too late. Ever seen Transformers? Well Steve Jobbs has and he's planning to build one and take over the world with it. Seriously. Freecreditreport.com is only the beginning, before we know it the internet will be in total control. Heed this warning: the internet will destroy you.

Make sure to check back for updates on the revolution. If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to email Ted Limpert. In the meantime I'm going to go poke people on Facebook.

Fool me once shame on you
Fool me twice shame on me
Fool me thrice... and vengeance will be sweet.

Monday, March 23, 2009

JZ Buys House!!/ JZ Creeped-Out by House.

Hey, John here. A little while back I bought a house up in the Seabreeze neighborhood, in accordance with my well documented love of water-slides. Two weeks ago was the big move-in day, which was exciting, but then something happened. I had to start living in this house...alone. Now don't get me wrong, I've lived alone before and been fine, but it's always been in apartment buildings that have had other people around 24/7. Turns out, when you're the only person in a building (say, a house) it gets pretty creepy and/or ooky, depending on your dialect. The forms of creepyness experienced include the following:

  • Wierd noises
  • Echo-y acoustics
  • Drafts (breezes, not NFL recuitment)
  • Upstairs hallway devoid of light
  • One first floor bathroom, meaning long trips in the middle of the night.
  • Finally, and possibly most importantly: Questionable history- The house was built in 1925 and at some point (don't know when) moved into the neighborhood. That's 84 years that someone could have been murdered!! Or that ghostly brides could have lost their husbands, or that maniacs with hook-hands could have done their maniac-with-hook-hand thing!!

So next time you're comfortably sleeping in your apartment with your trusted room mate up the hall, keeping you safe, think of poor little JZ. Huddled in his cavernous bedroom, wishing he had a proton pack...

Goodnight and Godspeed

Tuesday, March 03, 2009


Rehearsal: where dreams are made..... and broken.


T.R. and Liam share a moment.


Nick, not wanting to be outdone, forces Liam to share a moment with him.




Paul and Corinne finally see each other for who they really are.



T.R. enacts his revenge on Nick for stealing his beloved Liam.


We're not really sure what's going on here, but it sure got Nick excited....

Chris Holden 0, Garbage Plate 1

This past weekend, we finally convinced Chris Holden to come out and eat a garbage plate.  As an immigrant to both our city and nation, Chris was trepidatious about eating Rochester's signature meal.  The ordeal is chronicled below in some pictures (or as Chris would call them, "snaps").


Nick is all pumped up for his cheeseburger plate with french fries and mac salad.  Chris ponders the logic behind such a combination.



Look out Chris!  You might not be hungry enough to finish!



In the end Paul and Nick were able to finish their plates, while Chris appeared sick to his stomach.  The great shame and dishonor he has brought to both his family and Mother England is sure to haunt him for months to come.