I'm sick of these mother******* snakes on this mother******* plane!

From MSNBC

April 16, 2009
"MELBOURNE, Australia - Four baby pythons escaped from a container aboard a passenger plane in Australia, leading to a search that forced the cancellation of two flights, the airline said Thursday.Twelve non-venomous Smitten pythons were being transported Tuesday on a flight from Alice Springs to Melbourne in the plane's cargo area in a bag inside a plastic foam box with air holes.



When the flight landed, it was discovered that four snakes had escaped from the package, a Qantas spokeswoman said in a statement. A reptile expert searched for the 6-inch-long snakes but did not find them. It was not known if the snakes were still on the plane or if they had somehow escaped outside after the plane landed. In the meantime, the plane missed two flights it had been scheduled to fly and the passengers were transferred to other flights. When the snakes were not found, the airplane was fumigated and it returned to service on Wednesday. pythons, which can grow up to three feet long, live in western and central Australia and are not an endangered species."

This breaks my freaking heart.

This is apparently from a longer documentary you can see on Animal Planet. Kudos to whoever set it to Aerosmith!

GCI Makes Dreams Come True

Move over Make-A-Wish Foundation, get a life Disney World, GCI is in town and open for business (a business built on hopes and dreams). Young Michael Borden, a resident of Syracuse NY, had a simple wish to spend some quality time with GCI before he departs this cruel world. Well Mike Borden, why wait? It is true that this man was not suffering from any terminal illnesses, but upon closer inspection it became evident that Borden had a fever in his heart muscle, and the only perscription was more GCI. Miracles of kindness do happen, and we have the pictures to prove it! Notice the perfectly crafted smiles on GCI members Corinne, Nick, and TR, and the real, genuine smile on Borden's face (center). By placing this youthful dreamer in the center of the picture GCI made him feel as though the world revolved around him, and you know what, maybe for that one single moment it really did. Ted Limpert was the official photographer for the afternoon. Limpert refused to comment on why he was not asked to be included in the original photo, but it seems that the candid snapshot below pretty much speaks for itself.

Other members of GCI refused to be associated with this charitable event at all. GCI is what dreams are made of...

JZ's Body Apparently Rejecting His Left Arm.

Hey everybody, John here. Are you at all familiar with the term Golfer's Elbow? Neither was I until this past week. I learned about it recenlty when I came down with a case of it. As with any ailments I get, I can only assume that I have whatever the internet tells me I have. My personal health plan consists of Web MD and having watched a couple episodes of House. The best I can figure, there's a small tear in my tendon or ligament that causes light, random pain in the lower part of my left arm. That, or I've made some gypsy mad enough to cast a very weak curse on me.

Turns out you don't even need to play golf to get it, which begs the question: Why, then, call it Golfer's Elbow? Why name your injury after a sport that's less exciting than CSPAN2? It should be called Gladiator's Elbow!, or vigilante-tendonitis. Hell, even Bend-o-hurt sounds better than golfers elbow. Golfer's elbow sounds like a rash you get from an argyle sweater...

...If anyone needs me, I'll be icing my Gladiator's Elbow...

So what does one do with a blog? What do I write? Just tell folks about little tidbits in my life? Ok then, I'll let you in to the VIP Liam Scahill Show and share what I did tonight....I had some milk and cookies. They appear to be Oreos, but upon closer inspection the are Wegman's version called "W-o's!" or as I like to call them "Woes!" I imagine they are Joey Lawerence's favorite cookie.




Now many people have specific ways to eat an Oreo. I myself like the twist, lick, and eat approach, then fitting in a milk dunk with no twist every third Oreo. Sounds complicated, but I have sligh OCD. With this OCD comes disappointment and sadness when the twist is not perfect.

But either way it tastes oh so good. Watch for the next post when I'll discuss Chips A'hoy: Chunky vs. Chewey.

Is that a tastey monacle or a delicious eye patch?

Interactive Theater (The Unplanned Kind)

Saw this article from the NY Times...hilarious...

Compiled by STEVEN McELROY

Published: April 5, 2009

A spokesman for the Broadway production of Neil LaBute’s “reasons to be pretty” said Sunday that the show’s producers had beefed up the security detail at the Lyceum Theater following an incident at the Saturday evening performance. During the first act the character played by Marin Ireland lights into her ex-boyfriend, played by Thomas Sadoski, with a litany of all the things she believes are wrong with him. A male audience member must have found something a bit too personal in the verbal assault because he stood, called her a bitch twice, said a few other things that cannot be printed, and stormed out of the theater. For those in attendance: No, it was not part of the show.

Corinne's Great Love: K-Pop

Nature Vs. Nurture.

How much of our personality: our likes, dislikes, strengths and weakness, are learned and how much is predetermined?
A fascinating debate.

I will tell you one thing: my love for Korean Pop Culture is embedded deep in my genes. From the first time I saw it, I was in love. It was like a piece of me had been missing and I was finally whole. Some may consider it stereotypical but it's ingrained in me. I choose to embrace it.

From my Hello Kitty-laptop-keyboard-decals to my light up-Love-Bunny-cell-phone charm.
Nothing makes me more content than a hot bowl of Bi Bim Bap, some Kim Chi, and I Korean Pop Video.

Prepare to be mesmerized by the musical stylings of Lee Hyori: Korean Pop Goddess.


Nothing compares.

Lux Craft Night Inspires Provocative Masterpiece

It started out as a regular night out with the boys, nothing too flashy just drinking a few PBRs and making some memories. GCI members Ted, Paul, and TR are well known for their sociableness and deep appreciation for "good times." Lux was the obvious choice for the evening due to location, drink options, and coolness. Unbeknownst to these young gentlemen was the creativity and inspiration that lingered in the air. The evening was very successful; words were shared, libations were imbibed, and this artistic masterpiece was created:

H. Ted Limpert, the artist, comments on his artistically spasmodic creation: "It just came to me, like in a dream. There I was, and there was Paul and TR, I knew it had to be put to paper. The orange color is used to represent the heat of passion and desire for knowledge. I am represented in the background of the piece shouting "hey guys, wait up!!" meant to evoke the realization that although TR and Paul are ahead of me in wisdom and experience, they will wait for me to catch up. And there is an airplane."

It is near impossible to depict brilliance, love, and hope in one image, but this artist gets pretty damn close. If true beauty is defined by imperfections, then perhaps true perfection is actually quite imperfect as well...

GCI Luddites learn to blog

Select GCI members, longtime enemies of technology, were tonight educated on the workings of the GCI blog. Here they are, getting to grips with the clicking and pointing:















Look forward to future posts, fraught with typos, syntax errors, non-sequiturs and irrelevant gibberish...

GCI is beyond reproach...

Join us for Risqué Business on April 7 and 9 at 6:30pm
Hot times. Bad decisions. Cold beer.




Main Page

Ted Limpert is Scammed by the Interweb... for the Last Time

Some (Former Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens) say the internet is a series of tubes, others (wikipedia) say it is a global network of interconnected computers, Ted Limpert says that the world wide web is a communal harbor for cruelty, malicious deceit, and villainous trickery and its tyrannical reign must come to an end. Ted Limpert has been fooled by this interconnected monstrosity for the last time!

What has the internet brought to us other than a flood of virtual vices more addictive than the most dangerous illegal substances. It has created a stage for irritating people to comment on worldly events and carry on meaningless uninformed arguments. It allows everyone the equal opportunity to post their minute to minute activities that absolutely no one else cares about. And worst of all it has elevated the free-trial info-mercial universe to a frightening new level (freecreditreport.com I'm talkin' about you!). This is where Ted Limpert draws the line.

Yes the internet is also known as the "information highway," an educational resource made available to almost everyone, but have we gotten any smarter. Yes it is a vehicle for communication, striving to make this "small world" even smaller, but last time I checked a mile was still 5,280 feet. And yes it also provides an avenue for romance, connecting people with people (and sometimes providing a pathway that helps people connect better with themselves), but has it ever gotten me laid?! The answer is no. All it has done is given greedy vendors a place to say "hey, little innocent googler, here's 7 dvds for 49 cents each, isn't that a great deal?... OH WAIT, now you owe me 150 dollars and your soul." It is despicable, and I will accept no responsibility for reading or not reading license agreements, who has that kind of time?! The internet is the wicked witch of the east and Ted Limpert is bouts to drop a house on it's ass.

Al Gore may have created this beast, but it is up to us to destroy it! And we must do it before it is too late. Ever seen Transformers? Well Steve Jobbs has and he's planning to build one and take over the world with it. Seriously. Freecreditreport.com is only the beginning, before we know it the internet will be in total control. Heed this warning: the internet will destroy you.

Make sure to check back for updates on the revolution. If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to email Ted Limpert. In the meantime I'm going to go poke people on Facebook.

Fool me once shame on you
Fool me twice shame on me
Fool me thrice... and vengeance will be sweet.

JZ Buys House!!/ JZ Creeped-Out by House.

Hey, John here. A little while back I bought a house up in the Seabreeze neighborhood, in accordance with my well documented love of water-slides. Two weeks ago was the big move-in day, which was exciting, but then something happened. I had to start living in this house...alone. Now don't get me wrong, I've lived alone before and been fine, but it's always been in apartment buildings that have had other people around 24/7. Turns out, when you're the only person in a building (say, a house) it gets pretty creepy and/or ooky, depending on your dialect. The forms of creepyness experienced include the following:

• Wierd noises
• Echo-y acoustics
• Drafts (breezes, not NFL recuitment)
• Upstairs hallway devoid of light
• One first floor bathroom, meaning long trips in the middle of the night.
• Finally, and possibly most importantly: Questionable history- The house was built in 1925 and at some point (don't know when) moved into the neighborhood. That's 84 years that someone could have been murdered!! Or that ghostly brides could have lost their husbands, or that maniacs with hook-hands could have done their maniac-with-hook-hand thing!!

So next time you're comfortably sleeping in your apartment with your trusted room mate up the hall, keeping you safe, think of poor little JZ. Huddled in his cavernous bedroom, wishing he had a proton pack...

Goodnight and Godspeed

Rehearsal: where dreams are made..... and broken.

T.R. and Liam share a moment.


Nick, not wanting to be outdone, forces Liam to share a moment with him.




Paul and Corinne finally see each other for who they really are.



T.R. enacts his revenge on Nick for stealing his beloved Liam.


We're not really sure what's going on here, but it sure got Nick excited....

Chris Holden 0, Garbage Plate 1

This past weekend, we finally convinced Chris Holden to come out and eat a garbage plate.  As an immigrant to both our city and nation, Chris was trepidatious about eating Rochester's signature meal.  The ordeal is chronicled below in some pictures (or as Chris would call them, "snaps").

Nick is all pumped up for his cheeseburger plate with french fries and mac salad.  Chris ponders the logic behind such a combination.

Look out Chris!  You might not be hungry enough to finish!

In the end Paul and Nick were able to finish their plates, while Chris appeared sick to his stomach.  The great shame and dishonor he has brought to both his family and Mother England is sure to haunt him for months to come.

Woah...

Folks, you may want to cover the eyes of your wee ones before exposing your own more developed peepers on the following document of unbridled carnage.

Allow me to set the scene: it's Friday the 13th. People need to die. Ace Steele knows what needs to be done. That's all the setup you need.

A Not So Great Escape

(From MSNBC's Weird News)

Oops! Inmates' escape stopped by light pole
Two handcuffed men flee courthouse only to end up on the ground

WELLINGTON, New Zealand - Two prisoners in New Zealand are facing more charges, and major embarrassment over an escape attempt gone bad. The men were handcuffed together as they fled a courthouse, but apparently forgot that little fact as they ran to opposite sides of a light pole, with predictable results. The men slammed into each other and fell to the ground. End of escape. Jailers nabbed them as they struggled to their feet.

Their escapade on Wednesday was captured by a CCTV camera at Hastings District Court on New Zealand's North Island.The two were back in court today, facing fresh charges of escaping from custody.

Click the link below to watch the spectacular footage...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/28910197#28910197

McGurskey

The Man, The Legend - McGurskey. Check out the latest installment, hot from our January shows, and ask yourself - What Would McGurskey Do?

GCI on TV!

Check out our "Official" Time Warner Cable TV Commercial below and stay tuned for a soon to be released "Too Hot for TV We're all going to lose our jobs if this ever airs Version"...

Also be sure to check out Rochester On Demand Channel 111 for an exclusive behind-the-scenes look at life in Show Business, GCI style.

Resolution assistance from GCI

Hey, John here. As early January sets in and the haze of our New Years hangovers rolls away, we all start to remember the ridiculous resolutions we made on New Years Eve while full of hope and champagne. And what is the most common resolution of them all? To get into, or back into, some kind of decent shape. While a nice idea in theory, there is one massive obstruction to accomplishing this task: Motivation. It's important to sustain motivation and keep hitting the gym despite the throngs of other tubby people trying to get back into shape. Or to eat healthy despite the weather making you feel like you want to subsist on warm ranch dressing and double fried bacon. And what's the best way to keep motivated? Fictional movies!!

First on our list is the original Drunken Master staring Jackie Chan: This movie about a slacker who has to learn Drunken Boxing has a great getting in shape montage. Doing crunches while hanging upside down, pushups on his wrists, push ups on his FINGERS!!!, and beating up chinese street gangs, all keep Jackie lean and mean.


And that's on 8,000 calories of chinese wine per day!!

Next on our list is Predator: This is more of a "what-if" motivator. As in "what if I'm stuck in the South American jungle where a well equipped alien is hunting me for sport?". Well, in that scenario, I might suggest being as jacked as a 1987 Arnold Shwarzenegger. See, you're gonna need to be that jacked in order to lift the tree branches and logs necessary to make elaborate jungle death traps. Bet you'll be glad you hit the gym when you're impaling the Predator on that giant pungee spike-snare thing!


The muscles help him pull the trigger harder.

And finally on our list is 300: This one goes without saying. Look at those guys. Everybody -men and women- in the whole film is jacked, EVERYBODY. Well, not everybody, actually. The bad guys range from puny to straight up fat. There are some fit ones, but next to the spartans, they just look malnourished. Messages don't get much more clear than equating lack of jacked-ness with evil. All you need is a lifetime of training with a spear and a shield, and you'll be wearing the hell out of your red cape and loin-cloth in no time.

So there you have it. Three movies that will help keep the pounds off. At least until the Superbowl, when you eat nine pounds of chili-cream-cheese-nacho-dip, and butter-basted-salami-poppers.

Happy New Year!!! -JZ

NEW YEAR’S EVE MAINSTAGE SPECTACULAR!
One Night, Two Shows, A Hell of a Party.











Join Geva Comedy Improv this New Year’s Eve for an unparalleled evening of comedic entertainment and nostalgic revelry as we bid a fond farewell to 2008 and usher in 2009 with all the glitz, glamour, and splendor it deserves. It’s the not-to-be-missed party of the year – so be sure to mark your calendars and book your tickets early.

WEDNESDAY December 31st, 2008
Shows at 7:30 pm and 10:30 pm
The Mainstage at Geva Theatre Center
75 Woodbury Blvd, Rochester NY 14607

We’ve swiped the keys to the Mainstage and are gearing up for our biggest show of the year with all the magic and excitement you can expect from GCI’s troupe of talented young performers. We’re busy tuning our voices, timing our dance moves and stretching our funny muscle for an action packed evening of wit, witticism, and impromptu onstage acrobatics.

Featuring live music, live performers, a cash bar with the lowest prices in town, prizes, a champagne toast at Midnight, and an epic after show party sure to crack the underlying foundation of the theatre. Check out the coolest live comedy performance this side of the International Date Line for an unprecedented New Year’s Eve event!

Shows are at 7:30 pm and 10:30 pm in the Mainstage of Geva Theatre Center, and ticket prices range from $15-$20! Group discount for parties of 5 or more available. Special discounted ticket packages available for a limited time only, so get your tickets early and don’t miss out on the best New Year’s deal in town!

Get the details and your tickets at Geva Comedy Improv or by calling 232-Geva (4382).

With so much fun packed into a single event, we had to get a special permit from the city to temporarily waive the municipal excitement ordinance - Be there, or your entire 2009 year is going to be lame…