Monday, November 28, 2005

Last Week's Episode of Fiasco!

Alright FIASCO! Fans its time for last week’s synopsis. I promise that I won’t be distracted tonight as my Steelers take on the undefeated Colts in what could be the best Monday Night Football game of the season. Even a clash of these AFC titans couldn’t compare to what we don’t have planned for tonight. That’s right, our improvised soap opera is going to kick Monday Night Football’s butt. I’ll even pull a Namath and make the bold prediction that tonight’s episode will be the best one yet. Come watch the only improvised Soap Opera in Western NY.

So here is what happened last week on that wacky Lake Boat:

Dr. Al Qaeda returned to the boat only to find out that Eamon and Steve were missing! The rumors ranged from drug rehab to excellent adventure. Perhaps it was only a bogus journey. Either way the ship was without a first mate and Rosemary without her Irish mate. Ticket sales had been slow on the Lake Boat and the crew put their heads together to come up with a plan. Then they went off and came up with separate plans entirely. Brad wanted to host an Afro-Brazillian Dance recital complete with lights, costumes and pyrotechnics. Surely Rochestarians could not pass that up. Dr. Qaeda wanted to steal cars from the man who can’t stack ‘em and fake the ticket sales. Gerald wanted to run drugs, a popular pastime on the boat, but ended up helping Dr. Qaeda and Brad. He knew that Canandaigua was the place for both used Hondas and pyrotechnics.

The good Doctor happened to get caught talking on his cell phone, without any accent. It turns out that his real name is John Smith and that he works for the CIA. He is on an undercover mission and he needs the Lake Boat to complete the mission.

In the marathon that is the lifetime commitment of marriage, Rosemary is more of a sprinter. Once Eamon was gone, Chester A. Arthur proposed to her and she said yes. Rosemary and Chester asked the Captain to marry them, but he resisted. He revealed that Rosemary was his daughter and that she shouldn’t marry a dirty old man like Chester.

The Captain then ran off with Frank to the Radio room but they locked themselves in. They broke out a bottle of booze and Nancy quickly came to the rescue…sort of. She triumphantly entered and let the door close behind her, thus locking her inside as well. No matter, Frank still had the gun that he had earlier brandished to little effect. Maybe shooting at a solid steel lock in a room with solid steel walls is a good idea in Brooklyn, but it wasn’t on the Lake Boat. In his attempt to escape, the bullet ricocheted right into Nancy O’Brain’s leg. Don’t worry, it hit the fleshy part. Luckily Rosemary came to the rescue and healed the wound…with her mind!

Over in Canandaigua, Gerald met up with his friend Slappy Jim (played by Charley), the proprietor of a fireworks store and a former Afro-Brazilian dancer. He gave Gerald advice and fireworks, a classic combination. Gerald just made it back to the boat in time to miss the big dance finale. Oh, maybe he will dance during this week’s episode. Was Steve at drug rehab? Will Eamon return? What will Gerald do with the leftover fireworks? Will Rosemary ever stick with just one guy? The only way to find out is to watch this week’s episode of FIASCO!


  1. i believe the proprietor of the fireworks shop and one time afro-brazilian dancer's name was 'slap-happy' jim

  2. You are probably correct. The events of the last week are always wrapped in a haze of laughter. I think that my brain has trouble processing events into long term memory when I am laughing. It may explain why I have seen Ghostbusters 53 times or why I honestly can't remember my first time doing it with a clown. Oh Big Top Jeanie, our time together was short, but your oversize shoes were long.