Friday, January 01, 2010

Ted's New Years Resolution: Be More Like Lady GaGa

Some may argue that Lady Gaga is not an appropriate role model for a quarter-aged, heterosexual male, however, I would wholeheartedly disagree. She's badass, she does whatever she wants, and she's already a bajillionaire. I want to start out small, so here are three simple steps that I plan on taking to begin fulfilling my 2010 new years resolution of being more like Lady Gaga.

Step 1: Name change
What's in a name? Oh I don't know... Everything! Traditional names are just monotonous labels for mindless drones to the big machine. Henceforth I shall call myself "Man BaBa"

Step one... done.

Step 2: Fashion Transformation
If clothes make the man, then I need to start clearing out my wardrobe... but why buy clothes when you can wear a birdsnest as a hat,
a sexy imperial guard costume,a famous french museum with batman ears, or steal a bunch of children's hand-puppets and paste them together? I've been working on a paper clip vest and cream cheese socks.

Step two... in progress, need more paper clips.

Step 3: Acquire Minions
Whether it's a bunch of people in a tub or someone acting as a bench while she plays the piano
Lady GaGa has got people that will do WHATEVER she wants. That's gotta be great. As soon as I get some minions I know I will have truly made it, I'm not sure what exactly I will make them do, all I know is that next time I play the piano I want to sit on a person, and I want another person to be hard at work on some embroidery in front of me.
Step three... currently reviewing applicants.

I think that's good for now, with all this I should be a multi-millionaire by august. I'll keep you posted.

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