Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The BBC on Zombies...

Posted on the Science section of the BBC website is the following article entitled: "Science Ponders 'zombie attack'"

In the article, Canadian researchers contemplated the possibility of a world-wide zombie attack, and asked the question: could humankind survive? The conclusion was a resounding "eh, maybe?"

As one reads further into the article it is possible to become even less confident in the potential survival of humankind. Apparently, Canadian researchers only considered "classic" zombies in their study... So, if our chances are slim for quelling a force of sloth-like, brain-less goons, it would seem that if the zombies moved any quicker then a slow walk we're screwed.

However, do not fear as there are several parts of this study that should just not be trusted. (1) First, the lead mathematician is a man named Robert Smith?. Don't trust this man, he has a question mark at the end of his name. (2) Second, the outcomes were created numerically... numerically?! People are NOT numbers! Come on, Robert Smith?. (3) Thirdly, Professor Neil Ferguson, one of the leaders in controlling swine flu in London, isn't worried. If he's not worried, I'm not worried. For all we know, swine flu might be the beginnings of a zombie pandemic.

The real question is where does human compassion come into play. According to the mathematical exercise in Canada; if Zombies attack, then you must kill them... IMMEDIATELY! But logic and numbers mean nothing when you're face to face with this...

Could you kill such a beautiful angel?! I sure couldn't. I wouldn't harm a hair on his perfectly sculpted physique, even if he was ripping my arm off. So, after doing my own study on the human condition, I conclude that the only way humans have any chance of surviving a zombie attack... is if only ugly people become zombies. Here's to hoping.

No comments:

Post a Comment