Friday, May 08, 2009

GCI Visits Local Diner

Tucked away in the heart of the town of Penfield lies a quaint little eatery known by the townspeople as The Original Steve's Diner. You may be fooled by it's modest size, but it is a mecca to those who still believe in the power of a good, balanced, post-noon breakfast, and continue to adhere to the fleeting doctrine of Metro Mattress. Members of GCI are not unacquainted with the antiquated society of American bistros, and even consider themselves to be connoisseurs of this lasting tradition (having dined at some of Rochesters most notable local estabalishments). Still entangled in the lasting stupor of the night before, several cast members of GCI decided to put Original Steve to the test.

Upon arriving, GCI's keen eye for potential shed a single tear, finding an immediate challenge within it's gaze. "These Menu's look like they were drawn by four year olds" exclaimed GCI cast member TR. "Mine doesn't even say anything it is just a bunch of lines and crayon scribbles" declared Ted Limpert, disgusted. In fact, the menus had been drawn by 4 year olds. Perhaps hoping to muster some sense of communal pride, Original Steve had employed the tiny amateur-hands of local youth to create the menu covers for his professional business. A bold move by Original Steve. Although GCI applauded Steve's fearlessness, they knew that something had to be done.

A young waitress suggested a friendly contest to see who could draw better than a 4 year old and save Original Steve's from it's artistic folly... GCI accepted, knowing full well that this competition would be anything but friendly. What follows are the fruits of these men's labors.

Realizing that the victor of this rivalry is so blatant it hurts the eyes, it is unnecesary to try to describe his sassy, fantastical depiction of a pirate-egg riding a flying bacon-surfboard. However, the shortcomings of the defeated can easily be described. Nick DiCola's pleasant table-top smorgasbord is lacking one vital thing... plates, making it a repuslive, potentially germ-infested meal. TR does not know how to spell Diner. Michael Borden, an associate of GCI, captures man-made objects in a still life, a style of art that hasn't been popular since the middle ages. Lastly, Paul's depiction of Jamaican Coffee is painfully mediocre and mildly racist.

In the end, Ted Limpert's work of art destroyed and replaced the 4 year old's laughably-abstract, infantile attempt at expressionism. "I just wish he could be here to know what a real artist looks like... and so I could watch him cry" stated Limpert. Original Steve did not wish to release a statement. Another crisis overted with the help of GCI.

Make sure to visit The Original Steve's Diner, it is a fine estabalishment, now with a little piece of genius on one of it's menus.

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