Monday, May 11, 2009

Corinne and Ted Fly to NYC; Terrorist Alert is Raised to Fuschia

GCI members Corinne Magin and Ted Limpert recently travelled to the big apple with no ill-intentions. However, the US Department of Homeland Security caught wind of their suspiciously frivolous activities and went on high alert dark-pink. This suspicious photo was released of the two (potential) security-threats travelling in a small-aircraft...Magin and Limpert were lost by an expert surveillance team at an airport in Newark. The following day, by what the CIA referred to as "dumb luck," the two were picked up on a Russian satellite at the Empire State Building with pockets full of loose change. A surveillance camera picked up this photo of these two extremely dangerous individuals.While Limpert was in the bathroom, Magin attempted to disguise herself as an innocent, peace-loving tourist.
Fooled, for only a brief moment, government officials apprehended the two in the gift shop. Unfortunately, due to the recent repeal of the power to brutally torture people of random nationalities and men with beards, the US Anti-Terrorist Agency is forced to develop new, innovative methods for extracting information. Hoping to instill great fear within these two deviants, the interrogation was administered by a man in a gorilla suit.
"It was an extremely challenging situation... though Magin seemed to be mildly receptive to these scare tactics, Limpert thoroughly enjoyed the experience" officials said. Magin and Limpert were set free only because the government no longer has a formal location to detain innocent citizens. As punishment for wrongfully deceiving US intelligence, the two were sent home on a China Town Bus; a unique torture tactic that is still in question under the Obama administration.

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