Paul Nellis views new vending machine with fewer options at Geva as great injustice.

An irate Paul Nellis arrived at Improv practice Monday evening twiddling an unused one-dollar bill. "What the happened to the vending machine upstairs?" he asked before launching into an irate tirade. "There's no Twix in the machine! And we've traded bottles of Pepsi for cans of Coke! WTF?!?!?"

Cast member Danielle Erway attempted to soothe the rattled Nellis by pointing out that the new vending machine is cheaper, but Nellis could not be swayed. "I tried to tell him how cool the machine is. It's totally out of the '70's. He usually likes retro stuff," she commented later.

Shortly after his rant, Nellis disappeared and returned with a can of A&W Root Beer and some Reese's Peanut Butter cups.

The Weather Report from Ted

The temperature change is making me sick... literally, disgusted. I will pardon mother nature, but could downtown buidlings get with the program and turn down the thermostat. Come ON! I'm sweatin' my balloons off in here.

Nightmares come to life! Thanks Usher!

Fact: I once stayed under the table at Chuck E. Cheese for the duration of an entire birthday party because I was frozen with fear from the anamatronic robots. Obviously if they sang Usher, I would have been on that table dancing...at 3. Please enjoy the video and most importantly, enjoy your nightmares.

WORLD OF BOOM

Today's World of Boom celebrates two of my favorite things - Lego and lightsabers. Dear Science, when will we get lightsabers? Cuz it's been ages since we heard about them, and yet do we have even one working prototype? Get your head out of your cure for cancer, and FIGURE IT OUT. Ahem. Sorry. Anyway, the video:

Age Discrepency Results in Call to Action!!

Hey all, JZ here with some big news. As you may have heard, I recently found out that reading isn’t just for the weak and the dateless. This discovery lead me to a series of books that is well written, fast paced, action packed, and fun. The only down-side to this book series is that it’s intended for sixth-graders… The books are the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series, and my unabashed enjoyment of them has lead to a revelation: It’s ok to be a man-child!! While I’ve known I was a man-child since childhood, I always thought it was just something to be tolerated; like restless leg syndrome, or a beard. I have come to the realization, however that my fascination with televised violence, car chases and fart jokes is to be embraced. It is because of this realization that I have decided to start an organization: The Intrepid League of Man-Children, or the ILMC. The slogan is En El Ridiculum, Fructus. Which means In The Ridiculous, Enjoyment. We shall endeavor to partake in noble pursuits; such as learning to sword fight, watching Death-Race, and going on waterslides drunk!
I have to admit, the name of the organization is a bit of a misnomer, as women are perfectly welcome to join. All you need is an unashamed enjoyment of things that productive adults in society look down their boring noses at! We are currently taking recruits of all skill levels, so contact us at our Facebook account to sign up!

The Marriage Ref OR Catching A Glimpse Of What Hell Looks Like

Nothing makes me more physically ill than reality television. If I even catch a glimpse of anything hosted by Regis Philbin or Ryan Seacrest I die a little inside. My own personal hell would be watching a group of skeletons clamoring incessantly, trying desperately to become Paris Hilton's new bff, while engaged in an eternal dance battle with Danny Bonaducie and the situation, all the while being judged by David Hasselhoff, Kathy Griffin, and some random british asshole.

That in mind, I recently decided to watch the pilot episode of Jerry Seinfelds new show "The Marriage Ref." Needless to say I went in with low expectations. Extremely low. So low in fact that I would have been perfectly satisfied with being disgusted.

Instead it was like watching an ambulance crash into an orphanage on Christmas. I have never been so afraid. Jerry Seinfeld and Tom Papa took my brain out of my skull, flattened it out, and wore it as a bib while they giggled and skipped around like two little girls at a make believe tea party.

If you must know, the show is about Tom Papa (a relatively unknown nobody) and a panel of B-list celebrity 'experts' adjudicating the most ridiculous, blatantly scripted, marital disputes. However, if anyone asked me to describe this show in real life I would simply say "it's bad... really bad."

The whole time I was hoping to get some sort of respite from the celebrity guest panel --Alec Baldwin from 30 Rock, a glimmer of hope-- but there was none to be had. Baldwin seemed like an abused animal at a corporate circus, "fact checker" Natalie Morales was silently screaming "WHY?!", and Kelly Rippa proved that you can put lipstick on a pig but everyone knows it's still just Kelly Rippa. No one was even telling jokes, they were all just yelling and cackling at each other. It was like I was in a hot tub full of witches and I couldn't get out...

In the end my pain was all for naught. I was asking for it. I could have shut my computer and ran, but I didn't, I stayed in that hot tub and let those evil witches have their way with me. You win Jerry Seinfeld, you win. I watched your stupid show and reinforced for you the fact that you can do whatever the hell you want. I don't have a bajillion dollars and I don't have a tv sitcom named after me, all I can do is seek refuge in the self-aggrandizing glory hole that is the blogosphere. I'm gonna go cry and post my feelings on twitter.

The OK GOs need a real job...

Proving that yes, there ARE people out there with more time on their hands than us, the band OK Go have unleashed this video for their song, "This Too Shall Pass". I mean, c'mon - don't you have errands to do? Laundry to pick up? Taxes to audit? Where can I find a job that lets me sing and knock stuff over, to critical acclaim? Sigh. Back to my stupid life.

Also, this video rules. You go, OK Gos.