GCI Zombie Mania spreads Westward

Ironically, the following incident occurred just about an hour after GCI's Improv of the Living Dead show last night. Although I hesitate to imply that our performance inspired such an act (for legal reasons), I would like to officially state that the entire GCI cast was in no way, shape or form involved in the following (rock solid alibi available upon request) , nor do we condone such actions, but nonetheless would have fought our way through a horde of flesh-craving undead to witness the incident mentioned below first hand...

Associated Press

Man ordering food called a zombie, punched twice

Published - Oct 25 2009 12:37PM EDT

IOWA CITY, Iowa— Iowa City police are investigating an early morning assault in which a man accused another of being a zombie, then punched him twice. Police said the assault occurred at 1:17 a.m. Sunday at an Iowa City restaurant south of the University of Iowa campus.

A man was ordering food when he was approached by another man who called him a zombie, then hit him in the eye. When the victim tried to call police on his cell phone, the man punched him again, breaking his nose.

The man then ran out a back door.

The victim was taken by ambulance to a hospital.


Link to AP Article

WORLD OF BOOM - Halloween Edition

For your seasonal viewing pleasure, watch as this big pumpkin gets blown apart. Geva Comedy Improv would like to remind you that trying this yourself is probably dangerous, and wasteful of delicious, terrifying pumpkin.

Found my Fall Jam

As I was cruising the streets of Webster on my way to work, I heard this song on the radio and my street cred instantly sky-rocketed. If I had to choose a personal soundtrack, a song everyone would hear in their own heads as I walked towards them in slow motion, well then this song would be it...barely beating out "Uptown Girls." Give a whirl on your ear drums, if you don't know its called "Forever."

Liam

NB: They do use some "cuss" words

Zombie's Attack... WWJD?

With the epic "Improv of the Living Dead" show fast approaching, I have been brushing up on my survival skills, hoping to increase my probability of long-term, post-disaster endurance. But how does one prepare for the unpredictable? Well, how about taking a facebook quiz.

In general, I try to steer clear of Facebook quizzes and apps, it helps me to deny my fixation and ultimate dependency on technology, but I had to know... HOW LONG WILL I SURVIVE? The quiz asks the obvious question of what would would one equip oneself with: which melee weapon, what would you throw, what pet would you deploy, et cetera, et cetera. So, I chose the obvious answers: Katana, frag grenades, and a bear. I was overjoyed when I got the result of two weeks... TWO WEEKS! I thought "yeah, that sounds reasonable, I can do that!" However, it was not long before self-doubt began to infect my positive thinking...

Questions flew through my mind: Where am I going to find frag grenades? How will I convince "Pongo," my pet bear, to defend me? Isn't Katana that chick from Mortal Kombat?! Two weeks is an awfully long time. Then I thought "hold on a second, do I even want to last two weeks?" Move over doubt, here comes depression and self-loathing. If everyone else is already a Zombie, wouldn't I rather just join the brain-eating party? What if I have to repopulate the world all by myself? Does Katana even want to have children? Isn't she like 10,000 years old? Who knows where she's been? Gross.

The only way I pulled out of this slump was by finding hope in a dream, one in which I was trapped in a house boat by the government, much like in Quarantine (see it, it will mess you up!), but instead of a zombie-like disease my fellow prisoners and I turned into vampires. The boat sank, and I swam, then flew to safety.

So, now I have returned to a state of detached curiosity, seeking solace in the survive-ability of others. Who else would be around after the frag grenades hit the fan? I find myself wondering about all kinds of people. How long would Genghis Khan have survived? Would Tango and Cash make it? Now, I am not a god-fearing man, and I've never seriously asked this question, but if zombies did attack... What Would Jesus Do? Am I right? I mean, I'm interested. Then I wonder WWOD? What Would Obama Do? Better yet, what would Dick Cheney do? He obviously wouldn't blink an eye, if he had to shoot a friend in the head.

Anyway, that's all for now, I wish you the best of luck in your own personal struggles with the question of survive-ability. Meanwhile, go see the new movie Zombieland AND check out our ZOMBIE SHOW on October 24th at 10:30pm.

Fondly yours,

Ted

Hugh Jackman is True American Hero.

So apparently Hugh "Wolverine" Jackman and Daniel "Bond" Craig are starring together in some sort of Broadway play about Chicago cops. It sounds pretty badass. What is not badass, but AWESOME and HILARIOUS, is the way Jackman handled a cell phone going off while they were performing said play. Check it out.

Don't judge us for stealing content from TMZ. We love this guy! And TMZ! Also, day-old pizza. True story: This one time Tim Ryan once survived for a week and a half on a discarded sheet pizza. You see he ordered a sheet pizza for a "movie night" but then only Paul Nellis showed up (because Paul has no life) and could only eat like two slices and a buffalo wing.

The JZ Technique

Attention: this post has nothing to do with rapping... different JZ.

Hey everybody, John here. So here's a common situation: You're out watchin' the game, havin' some buffalo wings.

Now, with you're wings you like some bleu cheese (This is America, we like some bleu cheese with our heart pills). Of course you eat the drumstick shaped wings first, they're easier to dip, easier to eat, and arguably taste better. So now your stuck with the wing part of the wings, and this is where the problem comes in. You've got a long, flat piece of wing, and a circular bleu chees cup!! What the hell!?! well, this is where the JZ technique comes into play. You may or may not have noticed that when you get your buffalo wings, they come with about 4 celery sticks. As it turns out, thes sticks are for more than angrily hurling to the ground. Think of these sticks as paint-brushes, to paint the delicious, cheese covered wings you crave. That's right! By using the celery as an applicator, you can put as much bleu chees on those chicken fore arms as you want.

Use this secret wisely, for until they make bleu cheese holders in the shape of a radius and ulna, it's the only way to get that sweet bleu-gold into your veins!!

The Coowist Effin' Kid Awawd

All children are 'considered' cute, all children are 'considered' equal (according to the declaration of independence... or whatever), and all children are 'considered' blank slates in regards to their impending, post-adolescent, level of coolness... but we all know that some young kids are just plain (way) better than others. Geva Comedy Improv would like to recognize those few children who rise above the social standards set forth by an unforeseen panel of diaper wearing judges (no, not the supreme court), and present them with "THE COOWIST EFFIN' KID AWAWD."

This years' awawd goes to the following young lady for her epic description of Star Wars Episode 5.



Sure she sat through the movie with a wet diaper... but so did Paul Nellis. Congratulations little ms. cool, and may the force be with you.

Chainsaw Maid

In honor of our forthcoming Halloween shows, here's a fantastically gory claymation. It has zombies. And a chainsaw. Sweet.

GCI-LARP

This past weekend, when our debut Season 7 shows were finished, GCI cast members Ted, John and Paul donned the garments of ages past and battled honorably in the Dagorhir battle games with the local Winterfell Chapter. Short on sleep, and inspired by... well, we're not sure what inspired them, but here are some picture from the battle.


Getting to know your fellow warriors is not as awkward as one might suspect.

John enlists with an army of the undead.

Ted is given a foam-padded spear and enlisted to fight alongside a Roman phalanx.

Cut off a woman's leg? Not a problem for John.

In a decidedly epic moment, Paul is SQUASHED INTO THE GROUND.

For more information on the Dagorhir battle games, visit www.winterfell-dagorhir.com

Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Bacon

As is apparent in Corinne's previous post, we here at GCI have an immense appreciation for all things culinary. Recently, the GCI editorial research department came across this clip from the TV show "Wifeswap" and brought it to my attention - thankfully, this travesty was caught on film for all the World to bear witness:



Stand tall little man Curtis - we here at GCI salute you, your culinary courage, and that adorable tiny blue suitcase which we can only assume is filled with bacon...

Chef Corinne endorses Grits!!!

Sometimes when I find a favorite food it's more or less all I eat until I get sick
of it.

The summer the movie Harriet the Spy came out all I ate was tomatoes, with american cheese, mayo on white bread because that was her favorite food. That summer I also only drank orange kool-aid.

The summer I was 19, I thought eating olives was classy but I hated them, so I ate them every day until I liked them and now I love them.

There was also a liver and onions with bacon phase and a hot turkey sandwich with french fries (gravy on the fries)phase.

The latest to hit my tummy is grits.

It began at James Browns place, my favorite breakfast spot where I always get my favorite: the dixie plate.
2 sausage links, 2 eggs (over easy), a biscuit, grits, and sausage gravy.

I began to make them at home and it's more or less all I've been eating for 2 weeks.

I like them with 2 poached eggs, chopped green onion, and cheddar cheese.
I've also made broccoli and cheese grits that were very good.
But nothing really beats James Brown's where I can put sausage and sausage gravy in my grits.

I hiiiiiighhhhhly recommend it. Make your own or hit up James Browns!! YUMMM!!!

Faunal Fury Forges Feud for House of TNT

"An Englishman's home is his castle." Though no Englishman resides in the house of Ted, Nick, and TR, (the dynamite triumvirate henceforth known as TNT) we regard our domicile as a king would his castle. Due to recent events, our apartment seems to have become a breeding ground of unwanted animal activity. No, not literally animals breeding, but strange occurrences and uncharacteristic boldness of local creatures.

The first event went down a few weeks ago. During the heat of late July and a solitary fit of ennui from our then house guest Laura, a batch of brownies found themselves freshly made and placed on the counter to await dreaded consumption. I was away that afternoon, but returned to a pan of shredded brownies in the sink and a chewed screen in the kitchen window. To my understanding, a big-ass squirrel had the nerve to chew a hole through our screen and romp around in our brownie pan! It was a huge corralling effort on behalf of our roommates but it ran out through the door in the end.

Eventually other creatures like ants started appearing around our kitchen sink, stealing crumbs. We noticed a hive of wasps above one of our windows. These little friends of ours like to hang out with us on our porch and fly into our packets of hot dogs yet to be grilled, and then into the grill itself.

A couple weeks later, Ted and TR returned from a clam bake in Rhode Island bringing with them all the leftovers, bags of cookies (chocolate chip and Heath) that TR's mother baked for us. The morning after theei return, I found a shredded plastic bag of the chocolate chip cookies in the sink and a trail of crumbs leading to the window where the hole that was there before now was double in size. TWO BATCHES OF FRESH BAKED GOODS HAVE BEEN DESTROYED. That squirrel dared to do it again. I saw him, the fat little tard on the fence looking into the kitchen, wondering when I would leave so it can chew its way in again and leave me a pellet of gratitude.

Damn squirrels.

The next day was another strange occurrence. I was leaving the apartment to go back to work when I saw, on our porch, two creatures parting ways. The larger one flew away across the street and the smaller one fell straight to the floor.





A hawk had killed and beheaded a pigeon on our front porch. The feathers from the incident were all over the floor, on our furniture and stuck to little niblets of bird offal hear and there. I, of course, had to go to work but I made sure I got proof of the carnage that happened on our porch. Ted was the first to return home to all of the mess.

Yes...our windows in the kitchen are now kept closed with now air passing through. Yes...we now have 3 ant hotels around our sink, our porch is equipped with wasp killer, and yes...we're hoping that the next hawk victim on our porch is a cute, fat, innocent little squirrel. But we will not live in fear of animals taking over our home.

We are ready for the next crazy occurrence, in fact we invite you animals, but just remember, if you mess with TNT, you get...exploded!

Things I'm Diggin

TV....GCI's own John Zaffino has been praising the tv show BURN NOTICE for quite some time now and recently I was able to see why. This is a kick-ass show, with an engaging plot, enough action, sex, and comedy, and very watchable actors. My wife and I got our hands on the first season and watched it all in one week. With all the crap tv that happens during the summer, I highly recommend you get your meat hooks on BURN NOTICE.

BOOKS....I'm sure many people have read "Angela's Ashes" by Frank McCourt, but let me tell you his younger brother Malachy also scribbled out a memoir called "A Monk Swimming" which is a fantastic read. Frank's book was great, but younger bro has more humor, funnier/wilder stories, and writes like no one else you have ever read. Plus he is Irish...enough said.

HANG-OUTS....I am one of those people who loves sittin back on a front porch and doin whatevs, so I've been basking in the funky glow on the front porch of GCI cast memebers Ted, Nick, and TR's apartment. It's the place to be for PBR, cigars, and grilled meats.

-LIAM

WORLD OF BOOM

This week's installment of World of Boom features the most deadly of all forms of combustion - the verbal explosion. Watch as this biker gets NAILED by a passing car and recovers with freakish, Wolverine-like swiftness to launch his linguistic counter-attack. Really? Not even a brief pause to check you still have all your fleshy bits? Nope, this dude is a-oh-kay, and is awarded the World of Boom Iron Pentacle of Fortitude.

Big GCI News! John got married this weekend!!

We all attended the grand gala and it was just as great as I thought it would be!
At dinner, our lovely friend Alyssa noticed that we all wore a different color of the rainbow!What group mind. No one wore the same color and together we represented something rare and beautiful. *tear* I love you guys.

Congratulations John!!!!

<3 Corinne

Working out pays off.

Did you know in the early morning MTV actually shows videos??? During an unusually motivated morning work out this came on my TV and I fell in love. It was like the Gods were rewarding me for getting my booty out of bed and to the gym. I love the imagery and the fly beats. Hope you do too. <3 Corinne

Kid Cudi - New Music - More Music Videos

The BBC on Zombies...

Posted on the Science section of the BBC website is the following article entitled: "Science Ponders 'zombie attack'"

In the article, Canadian researchers contemplated the possibility of a world-wide zombie attack, and asked the question: could humankind survive? The conclusion was a resounding "eh, maybe?"

As one reads further into the article it is possible to become even less confident in the potential survival of humankind. Apparently, Canadian researchers only considered "classic" zombies in their study... So, if our chances are slim for quelling a force of sloth-like, brain-less goons, it would seem that if the zombies moved any quicker then a slow walk we're screwed.

However, do not fear as there are several parts of this study that should just not be trusted. (1) First, the lead mathematician is a man named Robert Smith?. Don't trust this man, he has a question mark at the end of his name. (2) Second, the outcomes were created numerically... numerically?! People are NOT numbers! Come on, Robert Smith?. (3) Thirdly, Professor Neil Ferguson, one of the leaders in controlling swine flu in London, isn't worried. If he's not worried, I'm not worried. For all we know, swine flu might be the beginnings of a zombie pandemic.

The real question is where does human compassion come into play. According to the mathematical exercise in Canada; if Zombies attack, then you must kill them... IMMEDIATELY! But logic and numbers mean nothing when you're face to face with this...

Could you kill such a beautiful angel?! I sure couldn't. I wouldn't harm a hair on his perfectly sculpted physique, even if he was ripping my arm off. So, after doing my own study on the human condition, I conclude that the only way humans have any chance of surviving a zombie attack... is if only ugly people become zombies. Here's to hoping.

Weather Report From Ted

It's really hot out. The sun hurts my overtly Irish, mildly Mediterranean skin. It's difficult to stay positive in such conditions. It's hard to type with no air-conditioning. Damn you August. You and your no holidays...

JZ presents two things that are inherently good:

Water-slides and Huey Lewis and the News.... just puttin' that out there.

Enter the World of Boom

Hey, 'splosion fans, Chris here. My previous post, 'Chris Likes Stupid Guns' got me thinking. And by thinking I mean, trolling Youtube for footage of explosions. With that in mind, I'm proud to present World of Boom, a hopefully regular article, featuring some form of ridiculous gun, jet, explosion or other example of sharp bits of metal moving really fast. Why does the world need such an article, you ask? I think it was Swedish crooners Roxette who first instructed us to 'Listen to Your Heart'. And wouldn't you know it, your heart goes boom!

Today's video: three Panavier Tornado jets perform an ultra-low flyby at an air show. Pilot #3 wins the coveted World of Boom Award For Crazy.