GCI in Insider Magazine

Rochester Insider Magazine picks up the TV On Stage shows. Click to read the article. Huzzah!

GCI Proclaimed "Idiot Box Laureate"

In recognition of their forthcoming season-ending, face-meltingly hilarious TV On Stage shows, Geva Comedy Improv has been awarded the prestigious title of "Idiot Box Laureate" by the Federal Communications Commission.

A press release issued by the FCC marks the occasion:
"The Federal Communications Commission is keenly aware of the pathologically-obsessive television viewing by the GCI cast. These guys watch way, way more television than can possibly be healthy. In fact, we estimate that their brains have been irreversibly irradiated from years and years of boob-tubing. One cast member watched the first season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer over 200 times! These guys are heroes of voyeurism, and we are awed and terrified by them. Bravo!"

Geva Comedy Improv spokesperson Chris Holden commented on the award, saying "Blurgh.....TV Good. ...me likem watch......HAHAH HA HAH.....funny TV .....ha...er...AH... AHHHHHH... EEEEEEEEEEE ....BAD TV!..... Buffy scare me lot..."

Join Geva Comedy Improv for TV On Stage Thursday, Friday and Saturday, 16-18.

More Bars in More Places

Hello Everyone,

Nick here. If your wondering why you haven't seen or heard from me much lately, the answer is im in England! Its true, but as you know, its virtually impossible to find an internet connection in England, let alone a cell phone signal. So to bypass the anguish that I would have inevitably gone through just to get a signal in London, I declined from getting a phone for my time here.

However, I am currently traveling in a small and quite quaint town called Bakewell, famed for their tarts and I found one. I found a signal and thought I should let everyone know that up-to-date technology exists in the "Dead Zone" of England. What is funny and not widely known is that the signal that I picked up has been broadcasting for nearly 600 to 700 years. I was lucky enough to have found these very old bars in this very place!

Unfortunately I have not been able to find many more bars in this barren of communication technology wasteland that is Great Britain!

IMPROV WORKSHOPS

SUMMER IMPROV BOOTCAMP!

TUESDAY EVENINGS 6:30 – 8:30 PM
July 14th – August 25th

Geva Comedy Improv announces 7 week instructional courses on improvisation for ages 16 and up. There is no prior experience necessary and classes will be taught according to experience and skill level.

Course tuition is $175.00 for the full 7 weeks. The classes will be taught by current Geva Comedy Improv cast members and will be held at Geva Theatre Center on Tuesday evenings from 6:30 PM – 8:30 PM starting July 14 and running through August 25 with a special showcase performance to be held on Thursday August 27th.

For more information or to register, contact Tim Ryan at tryan@gevatheatre.org or by calling (585) 232-1366 ext 3049.

Jason Statham: Money well spent

This weekend my wife and I were finishing up our Sunday grocery trip to Wegmans and she informed me she was going to check out the make-up aisle, thus leaving me to peruse the bargain bins. Right infront of the check out aisle at the Pittsford Weggies are bins of good deals. Toothbrushes for $1.00, Speed stick for $1.00, and DVD's for $5.00...I think to myself "I don't need these items, but I at these low-low prices, I can't afford NOT to buy them."

The bargain bins of DVD's were slim pickens. I was on the fence with two titles, weighing the pros and cons of purchase, when I saw a sure thing. I didn't hesitate. In fact as I snagged the DVD of the shelf I said "Sold." out load. What was this sure bet DVD? Why, it was "War" starring Jet Li and Jason Statham. According to the tag line one of them wants justice and the other wants revenge. I don't know who wants what, and frankly I don't care. What care is that it's a Jason Statham movie for $5.00.

Statham is one bad motha. For the most part his movies are solid and highly entertaining, and you always get your moneys worth. When you rented "Death Race" you knew EXACTLY what you were going to see: a bunch of stuff exploding, a** kicking, and a couple of funny lines, and he is going to do it rather well.

I'm not saying he is a better actor than Sean Penn, or that the "Transporter" trilogy is on par with "The Godfather." However you know he is going to beat up more guys than there are in The Streets of Rage. What I am saying is, if I have $5.00 to buy a movie, and my choices are "War" or "Sideways?" Leave the wine, give me a six pack and I'm going to war.

My Top Five Jason Statham Movies (starring roles only, sorry "Lock Stock" and "Italian Job")

5.) Transporter 2
4.) Death Race
3.) Transporter
2.) The Bank Job
1.) Snatch

Ask a Guy who took a Workshop.

When Tony signed up for our Improv Summer Boot Camp for the second consecutive year, we knew something had to be up. We recently had the opportunity to sit down with Tony and ask him the hard questions.

GCI: Thanks for meeting us Tony. So why did you sign up for a Geva Comedy Improv workshop in the first place?
Tony: I thought it would be an interesting experience. I had never been on stage before outside of a brief appearance during a Tom Sawyer play during grade school. I didn't really like that experience, and figured it would be more fun to be an a**.
GCI: What was the best thing about the workshop last summer?
Tony: I really enjoyed the variety of activities. They tried to teach us so many things to do, and we couldn't even do them all. So many fun games I never would have thought of.
GCI: What was the worst thing about the workshop last summer?
Tony: The day that Ted was there.
GCI: Why on Earth would you sign up for it a second time?
Tony: Why not? It's cheaper than a vacation. It also gives you something to look forward to in a bleak and otherwise pointless existence.
GCI: What do you want to do differently this summer?
Tony: I want to get more people to the final show. It was a blast last year and I hope more people can see it. Also, I want to play some more Samurai Energy Throw.
GCI: What advice would you give to someone who taking the workshop for the first time?
Tony: I would say swallow your pride and avoid creepy eye contact with Liam. Also try not to have "delirium tremors" like Tom Hanks did in Saving Private Ryan. He was an alcoholic in that movie.
GCI: Tom Hanks? Really? In real life?
Tony: No, in the movie.
GCI: No he wasn't, not in Forrest Gump.
Tony: He was just dumb in Forrest Gump, his mother was the drunk in that one.
GCI: Oh okay, thanks Tony (sips from Giant Coffee)

Come ride and the Babemobile this summer.

Why Mannequins shouldn't be allowed to use Fireworks

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Bollywood He-Man

Have your eyes been getting uppity of late? Do they need to be taught a lesson they'll not soon forget? Then you're in luck! Force yourself to sit through this clip from Chahiye He Man He Man from Nafrat Ki Aandhi (1989) and your eyes will be begging for mercy.

WARNING: You can never un-see what you are about to see. GCI takes no responsibility for the sweating, nosebleeds, spontaneous combustion or sexual nightmares you are about to endure.

JZ old, study finds.

Hey, John here. A recent study has shown that I am, in fact, an old person. I know what you're saying. You're saying "Obviously, look at your hairline." but you're wrong.. My hairline has been receding since I was 17; it's only like this cause it got an early start. So then you might think it's my weathered face with the weary look in the eyes, but again you'd be wrong. That's just the result of replacing sleeping with drinking on the weekends.


The hair is called "The Flying V", the message of the picture: sleep is for the weak.


No, the evidence that I'm old came last night, during the Dropkick Murphys/ Offspring concert. Here's a band that I've always loved (Dropkick) back in town after years away. and was I there rockin' out in the pit? Hell No! I was at home MOWING MY LAWN!!! I was even using one of those old timey lawn mowers with no motor... ugh, it bums me out.. Bums me out to the point where I just wanna drink some Fibercon, watch Wheel of Fortune and take a nap.

Unemployment already way boring

While having to work all summer isn't always the most fun way to spend July and August, it's far more soul-crushing to have to spend that time looking for a job. A victim of nationwide lay-offs and spending cutbacks, Paul Nellis launched full-force into a job search today. It was, however, not very exciting. "I wish I just had something to do, instead of having to look for something to do," Nellis stated candidly. "Sure I could play video games, but it would be great if I could afford to buy some new ones," he complained. Nellis then spent the rest of the day, wondering when everyone else would get out of work, and if any of them wanted to get a drink.

"They're not quite out of the woods yet."

RE-INTEGRATION INTO SOCIETY SLOW GOING FOR RECENTLY RESCUED COMEDIANS














GCI PRESS
(Rochester, NY) Having been recently liberated from a secret underground tunnel complex where they were held hostage for several weeks by a rogue rebel faction, members of the little-known regional Improv Comedy troupe Geva Comedy Improv have exhibited a reluctance to communicate, a general fear of the sun and other bright lights, and a strong aversion to human interaction. Such feelings of distrust and paranoia are not uncommon amongst newly freed hostages and it is likely that the worst of their ordeal may yet lie ahead.

"They're not quite out of the woods yet", Explains notable psychologist Dr. Edward Newscomb.

"They have mentally reverted to a previous state wherein they have come to rely upon isolation as a means of protection. The underground tunnel system in which they were held captive was very womb-like and ironically, sudden removal from that enviroment can cause a severe retrograde amnesiac state. That is to say, they are unable to recall any memory of their lives before they went into that tunnel, our world, and the world that they once exisited in has become completely and utterly alien."

Although the prognosis for a full and complete recovery is uncertain, Dr. Newscomb is certain of one thing:

"Those poor bastards are in for one hell of a long adjustment and adaptation period that may span tens of years before they will ever be able to live any kind of a normal life...then again, none of them really lived normal lives to begin with, so that's at least one positive."

Troupe Rescued from Jungle Prison

Famously sexy comedy act 'Geva Comedy Improv' was today liberated from the jungle tunnel complex where it had been held against its will by rebels. Now free, troupe members vowed to resume their blogging, which had been limited by the incarceration. Said GCI spokesman Chris Holden, "I guess being held hostage by fearsome jungle men in a cramped subterranean grotto wasn't all bad. Ted married the rebel leader, and they taught me Five Card Stud. But all things considered, it's good to be free." The rebels, who were mostly slaughtered by US Special Forces in a bloody 12 minute firefight remained optimistic that GCI would one day be recaptured. "Being shot to death by government troops sort of comes with the territory", said one rebel. "I don't blame them. But those comedians shall taste of my blade if they fall once more into the hands of the Seneca Park Snake Warriors."

T.R. UNEXPECTEDLY RECEIVES FREE DONUT, LATER DISCOVERS WHY

I began my day this morning as I often do - tired and in need of my requisite gallon of coffee. Ordinarily, I self-brew (French Roast) and begin my caffeine intake whilst in the shower (you should try this, it ranks just under a very cold beer in the hierarchy of beverages that I like to enjoy while standing under steaming hot running water...for obvious reasons the former is best suited for mornings and the latter for pre-night-on-the-town rituals).

Groggy and faced with the realization that I had previously committed to an 8 O'Clock AM meeting, I quickly assessed that I lacked the nominal motivation required to fetch a fresh coffee filter, scoop an appropriate measurement of black crystalline deliciousness and facilitate a transference of H20 and thereby made the decision to stop by Dunkin' Donuts on my way to the meeting.

I quickly scrubbed, shined and polished myself, grabbed the necessary meeting support materials and found myself moments later standing in a rather long line at D & D. Things were slow going, and the line was considerably longer than usual at this time of day...an unidentified gentlemen two places ahead of me in line (presumably after making a quick time cost-benefit analysis) wavered, abandoned his post and fled sans product(s). I glanced at my watch...thinking about the viability of following suit in a shameful caffeine-less retreat...I held my position. As I would later learn, Fortune would soon smile down upon me for my perserverance.

As I reached the front of the line I barked forth my order (Medium Hazelnut, cream and sugar) while the gentlemen next to me was offered a free donut by another D&D employee. He was confused at first, and about to refuse the offer (a result of being hardened by years of fast-food "would you like to try our super special double hammy-wham sammy roll-up" promotional salesmanship lingo no doubt), but quickly came to his senses when "FREE" fully permeated his cerebral cortex.

SWEET. I knew exactly what to expect next. Like an obese diabetic toddler whose chubby knees kant inward creating an isosceles triangle with his shins (Figure 1A),I excitedly proclaimed my donut selection before the D&D employee could finish the query:

"Blueberry Cake Please!"

FIGURE 1A - Obese toddler with isosceles triangle shins

BAM! The words hit her ears with the sharp clarity of a throwing star from a breakfast ninja who just landed a preemptive strike. My early morning laziness had yielded a delicious confectionary treat. Victory was mine!

Victory was also that other guy's...and everyone else in D&D. It turns out, Victory can also be yours too.

I later learned through the power of THE INTERNETS that today, JUNE 5, 2009 is NATIONAL DONUT DAY and Dunkin Donuts is giving away a free donut with the purchase of any beverage.

Go Forth my friends - go forth and claim that which is yours - while supplies last...

For the Apologies... A Lady

It's too late for you, apologies. Your days are numbered. The damage has been done, so I guess you should be leaving. You're not welcome in this town anymore. "Stuff it, terd nugget" is the new "Oh, I'm sorry." "Move it or lose it, pipe dreams" is the new "pardon me." We live in an age of hyper-confidence and ill-mannered barbarianism, a return to the natural order... For all you apologies still out there, looming in a pool of self-doubt and apprehension, I present to you a lady who never apologizes.

That's right, the goddess of "you get what you deserve" herself, Lady 'muther effin' Justice! Blind as a bat, but hard as a brick shit house. And if you still don't get the picture, here is a series of ladies who also never see fit to vindicate their actions.

And lastly, apologies, lay your feeble lamentations on this limit-less, red-bearded SOB. Sure he may not be a lady, but he likes his apologies like he likes his coffee... cold.

McGurskey! Coming soon to a nextstage near YOU! July 2009.

For the Ladies - An Apology

Chris here. Just an addendum to Corinne's post, below, regarding Scene For The Ladies. I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to any ladies in the crowd who felt that our scene didn't really seem like it was, in fact, 'for them'. John and I evidently have little-to-no understanding of feminine desire, which is all the more tragic considering that I am married and John is engaged. Props to our respective partners for keeping our bumbling, homoerotic ravings off the streets. In your honor, ladies, I thus submit another music video by Mr. Billy Squire - a man who is so 'for the ladies', it makes me weep to live in his shadow. Again, sorry.

For The Ladies

This goes out to all the ladies,

John and Chris did a, well, jaw dropping scene "For the ladies" on Friday night during our Catch 23 show. It involved extreme muscle flexing and the "manliest" uncorking of a champagne bottle I've ever seen. If you were there to witness the action for yourself and it left you thirsting for more, do I have a cure for you. If you missed out, then this is a fair representation of the masculinity portrayed on stage.

Remember about a month ago I posted that video of Lee Hyo-ri, music sensation, queen of Korean Pop? Well, I found the Korean boy band equivalent. Apparently, Korea never grew old of formulaic pop groups like we did in America.

So here's a video that will knock your socks off. A group called SHINee. It's juicy, and definitely dreamed up "For the Ladies" Enjoy!

Summer Slam Weekend

Time to take out some face-insurance - Geva Comedy Improv plans to melt your features right off with a weekend of scorchin' hot comedy. On Friday at 10:30pm we present "Catch 23", where each team has only 23 minutes to rock your world (like the TV show '24', but with less terrorists and more drink specials).
Then on Saturday it's Face Off at 10:30pm, where the Beowolves will try to salvage their dignity, following their humiliating defeat the last time they faced the Roc City Racketeers. Who will emerge triumphant, and who will eat improv crow? Only one way to find out - pay your $7, and strap yourselves in.

BRITISH COURT RULES YES, PRINGLES ARE IN FACT CHIPS

After appeal, three judges decide snack has enough potato to be taxable

From the Associated Press updated 3:56 p.m. ET, Wed., May 20, 2009

LONDON - Pringles' tax status has been crunched by a trio of British judges.

The Court of Appeal judges decided Wednesday that the snack is a potato chip — and that means it's liable for Britain's Value Added Tax.

In Britain, most food isn't subject to the 15 percent national tax, but potato chips are.

A lower court had decided Pringles weren't chips and would remain exempt from tax. But the higher court judges disagreed. They said the snack contains "more than enough potato content" to be considered a chip.

A spokeswoman for Pringles' manufacturer Procter & Gamble Co. said the company has been paying the tax protectively and so does not owe the taxman.

Well...I had a good run...

Hey, John here. Just writing to tell ya that I have developed an addiction that will probably ruin the rest of my life. And unlike other addictions I've faced off against (I'm looking at you, cookiedough) this one is FREE, meaning there's nothing limiting my indulgence. That addiction, you ask? ...Bejeweled. How can the rest of the world compete with a tiny screen that rewards me every time I line up three jewels of the same color? It can't, that's how. See, the game was just a passing interest for me, until one fatefull day I got the impossibly high score of 148,700. Now, I must forever hunt the white whale of Bejeweled points as a mouse clicking Captain Ahab. That book had a happy end, though, right?

...So, this is John, signing off, to a land of disapearing jewels and broken dreams.

Godspeed.

As you have no doubt circled in your calendar, Terminator Salvation is released into theaters this week. In honor of the vast amounts of gratuitous techno-violence it will undoubtedly unload into our faces, we proudly present 'BATTLE OF THE BIONIC BABES' - a shallow and puerile comparison of hot robot ladies from movies and TV. Yes, it's nerdy and sad. Yes, beauty is only skin deep. But sometimes, skin-deep beauty is stretched over a near-indestructible poly-metal endo-skeleton. Bring on the contestants!






Check out the four groups, and then cast your vote below. The winners from each round will go on to square-off in a sandy pit, surrounded by polystyrene rocks, like in classic Star Trek. Oh, and remember that you're voting for the character, not the actress. Natch.


Survey Results - GlowDay.com