Chef Corinne endorses Grits!!!

Sometimes when I find a favorite food it's more or less all I eat until I get sick
of it.

The summer the movie Harriet the Spy came out all I ate was tomatoes, with american cheese, mayo on white bread because that was her favorite food. That summer I also only drank orange kool-aid.

The summer I was 19, I thought eating olives was classy but I hated them, so I ate them every day until I liked them and now I love them.

There was also a liver and onions with bacon phase and a hot turkey sandwich with french fries (gravy on the fries)phase.

The latest to hit my tummy is grits.

It began at James Browns place, my favorite breakfast spot where I always get my favorite: the dixie plate.
2 sausage links, 2 eggs (over easy), a biscuit, grits, and sausage gravy.

I began to make them at home and it's more or less all I've been eating for 2 weeks.

I like them with 2 poached eggs, chopped green onion, and cheddar cheese.
I've also made broccoli and cheese grits that were very good.
But nothing really beats James Brown's where I can put sausage and sausage gravy in my grits.

I hiiiiiighhhhhly recommend it. Make your own or hit up James Browns!! YUMMM!!!

Faunal Fury Forges Feud for House of TNT

"An Englishman's home is his castle." Though no Englishman resides in the house of Ted, Nick, and TR, (the dynamite triumvirate henceforth known as TNT) we regard our domicile as a king would his castle. Due to recent events, our apartment seems to have become a breeding ground of unwanted animal activity. No, not literally animals breeding, but strange occurrences and uncharacteristic boldness of local creatures.

The first event went down a few weeks ago. During the heat of late July and a solitary fit of ennui from our then house guest Laura, a batch of brownies found themselves freshly made and placed on the counter to await dreaded consumption. I was away that afternoon, but returned to a pan of shredded brownies in the sink and a chewed screen in the kitchen window. To my understanding, a big-ass squirrel had the nerve to chew a hole through our screen and romp around in our brownie pan! It was a huge corralling effort on behalf of our roommates but it ran out through the door in the end.

Eventually other creatures like ants started appearing around our kitchen sink, stealing crumbs. We noticed a hive of wasps above one of our windows. These little friends of ours like to hang out with us on our porch and fly into our packets of hot dogs yet to be grilled, and then into the grill itself.

A couple weeks later, Ted and TR returned from a clam bake in Rhode Island bringing with them all the leftovers, bags of cookies (chocolate chip and Heath) that TR's mother baked for us. The morning after theei return, I found a shredded plastic bag of the chocolate chip cookies in the sink and a trail of crumbs leading to the window where the hole that was there before now was double in size. TWO BATCHES OF FRESH BAKED GOODS HAVE BEEN DESTROYED. That squirrel dared to do it again. I saw him, the fat little tard on the fence looking into the kitchen, wondering when I would leave so it can chew its way in again and leave me a pellet of gratitude.

Damn squirrels.

The next day was another strange occurrence. I was leaving the apartment to go back to work when I saw, on our porch, two creatures parting ways. The larger one flew away across the street and the smaller one fell straight to the floor.





A hawk had killed and beheaded a pigeon on our front porch. The feathers from the incident were all over the floor, on our furniture and stuck to little niblets of bird offal hear and there. I, of course, had to go to work but I made sure I got proof of the carnage that happened on our porch. Ted was the first to return home to all of the mess.

Yes...our windows in the kitchen are now kept closed with now air passing through. Yes...we now have 3 ant hotels around our sink, our porch is equipped with wasp killer, and yes...we're hoping that the next hawk victim on our porch is a cute, fat, innocent little squirrel. But we will not live in fear of animals taking over our home.

We are ready for the next crazy occurrence, in fact we invite you animals, but just remember, if you mess with TNT, you get...exploded!

Things I'm Diggin

TV....GCI's own John Zaffino has been praising the tv show BURN NOTICE for quite some time now and recently I was able to see why. This is a kick-ass show, with an engaging plot, enough action, sex, and comedy, and very watchable actors. My wife and I got our hands on the first season and watched it all in one week. With all the crap tv that happens during the summer, I highly recommend you get your meat hooks on BURN NOTICE.

BOOKS....I'm sure many people have read "Angela's Ashes" by Frank McCourt, but let me tell you his younger brother Malachy also scribbled out a memoir called "A Monk Swimming" which is a fantastic read. Frank's book was great, but younger bro has more humor, funnier/wilder stories, and writes like no one else you have ever read. Plus he is Irish...enough said.

HANG-OUTS....I am one of those people who loves sittin back on a front porch and doin whatevs, so I've been basking in the funky glow on the front porch of GCI cast memebers Ted, Nick, and TR's apartment. It's the place to be for PBR, cigars, and grilled meats.

-LIAM

WORLD OF BOOM

This week's installment of World of Boom features the most deadly of all forms of combustion - the verbal explosion. Watch as this biker gets NAILED by a passing car and recovers with freakish, Wolverine-like swiftness to launch his linguistic counter-attack. Really? Not even a brief pause to check you still have all your fleshy bits? Nope, this dude is a-oh-kay, and is awarded the World of Boom Iron Pentacle of Fortitude.

Big GCI News! John got married this weekend!!

We all attended the grand gala and it was just as great as I thought it would be!
At dinner, our lovely friend Alyssa noticed that we all wore a different color of the rainbow!What group mind. No one wore the same color and together we represented something rare and beautiful. *tear* I love you guys.

Congratulations John!!!!

<3 Corinne

Working out pays off.

Did you know in the early morning MTV actually shows videos??? During an unusually motivated morning work out this came on my TV and I fell in love. It was like the Gods were rewarding me for getting my booty out of bed and to the gym. I love the imagery and the fly beats. Hope you do too. <3 Corinne

Kid Cudi - New Music - More Music Videos

The BBC on Zombies...

Posted on the Science section of the BBC website is the following article entitled: "Science Ponders 'zombie attack'"

In the article, Canadian researchers contemplated the possibility of a world-wide zombie attack, and asked the question: could humankind survive? The conclusion was a resounding "eh, maybe?"

As one reads further into the article it is possible to become even less confident in the potential survival of humankind. Apparently, Canadian researchers only considered "classic" zombies in their study... So, if our chances are slim for quelling a force of sloth-like, brain-less goons, it would seem that if the zombies moved any quicker then a slow walk we're screwed.

However, do not fear as there are several parts of this study that should just not be trusted. (1) First, the lead mathematician is a man named Robert Smith?. Don't trust this man, he has a question mark at the end of his name. (2) Second, the outcomes were created numerically... numerically?! People are NOT numbers! Come on, Robert Smith?. (3) Thirdly, Professor Neil Ferguson, one of the leaders in controlling swine flu in London, isn't worried. If he's not worried, I'm not worried. For all we know, swine flu might be the beginnings of a zombie pandemic.

The real question is where does human compassion come into play. According to the mathematical exercise in Canada; if Zombies attack, then you must kill them... IMMEDIATELY! But logic and numbers mean nothing when you're face to face with this...

Could you kill such a beautiful angel?! I sure couldn't. I wouldn't harm a hair on his perfectly sculpted physique, even if he was ripping my arm off. So, after doing my own study on the human condition, I conclude that the only way humans have any chance of surviving a zombie attack... is if only ugly people become zombies. Here's to hoping.

Weather Report From Ted

It's really hot out. The sun hurts my overtly Irish, mildly Mediterranean skin. It's difficult to stay positive in such conditions. It's hard to type with no air-conditioning. Damn you August. You and your no holidays...

JZ presents two things that are inherently good:

Water-slides and Huey Lewis and the News.... just puttin' that out there.

Enter the World of Boom

Hey, 'splosion fans, Chris here. My previous post, 'Chris Likes Stupid Guns' got me thinking. And by thinking I mean, trolling Youtube for footage of explosions. With that in mind, I'm proud to present World of Boom, a hopefully regular article, featuring some form of ridiculous gun, jet, explosion or other example of sharp bits of metal moving really fast. Why does the world need such an article, you ask? I think it was Swedish crooners Roxette who first instructed us to 'Listen to Your Heart'. And wouldn't you know it, your heart goes boom!

Today's video: three Panavier Tornado jets perform an ultra-low flyby at an air show. Pilot #3 wins the coveted World of Boom Award For Crazy.

T.R. misplaces napkin; totally misses "Awesome Party"

I was recently cleaning out my desk and came across this crumpled up cocktail napkin jammed way back in the left-hand desk drawer. Ordinarily, finding trash stockpiled under/in/around various areas that I occupy is nothing to warrant any cause for concern or alarm UNLESS said trash contains secret information and/or important reminders for extravagant social goings-on!!

Much to my horror, this particular cocktail napkin had been inscribed (by my own unmistakable scrawl) with all the necessary logistics required for attendance...FILING SYSTEM FAIL. Friends, I have discovered something else in my left-hand desk drawer today - shame. And remorse. And broken dreams. And a fancy belt and cuff links (just in case).

You may have been at that Awesome Party Michele with one "L", but sadly, I wasn't, and all I have left is a crumpled up reminder of a good time that I never had, but might still be able to if I can just work out some kinks in that infernal time machine.

Chris likes Stupid Guns

While I consider myself both an artist and an enlightened 21st Century man, I can't deny that when I see a big explosion, a jet breaking the sound barrier, or a big gun going 'bang!' I get very excited. With that in mind, allow me to present this complication of various people attempting to fire the preposterous ".577 T-Rex" rifle, a firearm seemingly designed expressly for separating the men from the boys. Just looking at the damn thing makes me weep with effete inadequacy. Think you could do better? Well, good for you, Chuck Norris.

Desensitized to violence.

Hello! It's me, Corinne,here with yet another way Geva Comedy Improv has changed my life. I grew up as an only child and now its as if I have 7 older brothers to educate me on everything I missed growing up.

"You don't know every line in Star Wars? You wouldn't Corinne..."

"Uh, Corinne, Zombies want to eat your brains, the fact that they tear the rest of you apart is only a side effect of trying to get to your brain...duh. Why wouldn't you know that? You're such a girl..."

"And then she said...Oh Corinne, stop covering your ears, the rest of the joke isn't that bad!"

Since joining the troupe I have a new found likeness for: violence in films, zombies, George Lucas, bacon, politically incorrect jokes, and offering "the female perspective" whenever I can. So, all in all, this experience has enhanced my life in many ways, and as a way to give back (and also try and one up the boys on addictive internet games) I give you this: I ninja rampage game where you kill giant like zombies with a sword. There's no way you can resist this game folks. Seeing the blood shed makes me smile. I hope you feel the love too.
http://www.ninjakiwi.com/Games/Action/Play/Shadow_Brute.html

A money saving, liver ruining tip from your freinds at GCI.

Hey, John here. I just got back from a trip to Las Vegas Nevada last weekend, and have a piece of wisdom to impart to anybody planning a trip there. Now, as you know, Vegas is for people who like to party. And by party I mean engage in any type of vice yet imagined by man. From slot-machines to gun-play to anything remotely involving boobs, Vegas has you covered. No doubt when you get to LV you'll be eager to do some partying whatever your particular brand is. It is because of this partying that planning is necessary.

The gist or thesis of what I'm driving at here is don't schedule a 3 day trip to Vegas. Let me explain why: you're gonna get there Friday night juiced to get off that plane and start partying, and party you will. Friday night you will take it out and chop it up. You will wake up Saturday and start recovering, spending most of the day nursing your wounds. Then, on Saturday night, just as the horse tranquilizers are wearing off and the penicillin is kicking in, it's time to party again. Saturday partying will be a whole 'nother level of defiling yourself. Like whoa, you'll discover sins that creep the devil out, and that's OK....that's part of the process. Sunday, however, will then be a wash. between the two hours sleep you got before, the time spent ditching the Federales, and figuring out what kind of meat you have 90 pounds of in the trunk of your rented car; there are just some thing pepto-bizmol can't fix. This means that you will pay for a hotel room on Sunday that you only use to sit in as you eat burritos and gently weep to yourself about what you've done. Best bet is get a room for two or four nights, as night three is gonna be a wash.

GCI in Insider Magazine

Rochester Insider Magazine picks up the TV On Stage shows. Click to read the article. Huzzah!

GCI Proclaimed "Idiot Box Laureate"

In recognition of their forthcoming season-ending, face-meltingly hilarious TV On Stage shows, Geva Comedy Improv has been awarded the prestigious title of "Idiot Box Laureate" by the Federal Communications Commission.

A press release issued by the FCC marks the occasion:
"The Federal Communications Commission is keenly aware of the pathologically-obsessive television viewing by the GCI cast. These guys watch way, way more television than can possibly be healthy. In fact, we estimate that their brains have been irreversibly irradiated from years and years of boob-tubing. One cast member watched the first season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer over 200 times! These guys are heroes of voyeurism, and we are awed and terrified by them. Bravo!"

Geva Comedy Improv spokesperson Chris Holden commented on the award, saying "Blurgh.....TV Good. ...me likem watch......HAHAH HA HAH.....funny TV .....ha...er...AH... AHHHHHH... EEEEEEEEEEE ....BAD TV!..... Buffy scare me lot..."

Join Geva Comedy Improv for TV On Stage Thursday, Friday and Saturday, 16-18.

More Bars in More Places

Hello Everyone,

Nick here. If your wondering why you haven't seen or heard from me much lately, the answer is im in England! Its true, but as you know, its virtually impossible to find an internet connection in England, let alone a cell phone signal. So to bypass the anguish that I would have inevitably gone through just to get a signal in London, I declined from getting a phone for my time here.

However, I am currently traveling in a small and quite quaint town called Bakewell, famed for their tarts and I found one. I found a signal and thought I should let everyone know that up-to-date technology exists in the "Dead Zone" of England. What is funny and not widely known is that the signal that I picked up has been broadcasting for nearly 600 to 700 years. I was lucky enough to have found these very old bars in this very place!

Unfortunately I have not been able to find many more bars in this barren of communication technology wasteland that is Great Britain!

IMPROV WORKSHOPS

SUMMER IMPROV BOOTCAMP!

TUESDAY EVENINGS 6:30 – 8:30 PM
July 14th – August 25th

Geva Comedy Improv announces 7 week instructional courses on improvisation for ages 16 and up. There is no prior experience necessary and classes will be taught according to experience and skill level.

Course tuition is $175.00 for the full 7 weeks. The classes will be taught by current Geva Comedy Improv cast members and will be held at Geva Theatre Center on Tuesday evenings from 6:30 PM – 8:30 PM starting July 14 and running through August 25 with a special showcase performance to be held on Thursday August 27th.

For more information or to register, contact Tim Ryan at tryan@gevatheatre.org or by calling (585) 232-1366 ext 3049.

Jason Statham: Money well spent

This weekend my wife and I were finishing up our Sunday grocery trip to Wegmans and she informed me she was going to check out the make-up aisle, thus leaving me to peruse the bargain bins. Right infront of the check out aisle at the Pittsford Weggies are bins of good deals. Toothbrushes for $1.00, Speed stick for $1.00, and DVD's for $5.00...I think to myself "I don't need these items, but I at these low-low prices, I can't afford NOT to buy them."

The bargain bins of DVD's were slim pickens. I was on the fence with two titles, weighing the pros and cons of purchase, when I saw a sure thing. I didn't hesitate. In fact as I snagged the DVD of the shelf I said "Sold." out load. What was this sure bet DVD? Why, it was "War" starring Jet Li and Jason Statham. According to the tag line one of them wants justice and the other wants revenge. I don't know who wants what, and frankly I don't care. What care is that it's a Jason Statham movie for $5.00.

Statham is one bad motha. For the most part his movies are solid and highly entertaining, and you always get your moneys worth. When you rented "Death Race" you knew EXACTLY what you were going to see: a bunch of stuff exploding, a** kicking, and a couple of funny lines, and he is going to do it rather well.

I'm not saying he is a better actor than Sean Penn, or that the "Transporter" trilogy is on par with "The Godfather." However you know he is going to beat up more guys than there are in The Streets of Rage. What I am saying is, if I have $5.00 to buy a movie, and my choices are "War" or "Sideways?" Leave the wine, give me a six pack and I'm going to war.

My Top Five Jason Statham Movies (starring roles only, sorry "Lock Stock" and "Italian Job")

5.) Transporter 2
4.) Death Race
3.) Transporter
2.) The Bank Job
1.) Snatch

Ask a Guy who took a Workshop.

When Tony signed up for our Improv Summer Boot Camp for the second consecutive year, we knew something had to be up. We recently had the opportunity to sit down with Tony and ask him the hard questions.

GCI: Thanks for meeting us Tony. So why did you sign up for a Geva Comedy Improv workshop in the first place?
Tony: I thought it would be an interesting experience. I had never been on stage before outside of a brief appearance during a Tom Sawyer play during grade school. I didn't really like that experience, and figured it would be more fun to be an a**.
GCI: What was the best thing about the workshop last summer?
Tony: I really enjoyed the variety of activities. They tried to teach us so many things to do, and we couldn't even do them all. So many fun games I never would have thought of.
GCI: What was the worst thing about the workshop last summer?
Tony: The day that Ted was there.
GCI: Why on Earth would you sign up for it a second time?
Tony: Why not? It's cheaper than a vacation. It also gives you something to look forward to in a bleak and otherwise pointless existence.
GCI: What do you want to do differently this summer?
Tony: I want to get more people to the final show. It was a blast last year and I hope more people can see it. Also, I want to play some more Samurai Energy Throw.
GCI: What advice would you give to someone who taking the workshop for the first time?
Tony: I would say swallow your pride and avoid creepy eye contact with Liam. Also try not to have "delirium tremors" like Tom Hanks did in Saving Private Ryan. He was an alcoholic in that movie.
GCI: Tom Hanks? Really? In real life?
Tony: No, in the movie.
GCI: No he wasn't, not in Forrest Gump.
Tony: He was just dumb in Forrest Gump, his mother was the drunk in that one.
GCI: Oh okay, thanks Tony (sips from Giant Coffee)

Come ride and the Babemobile this summer.

Why Mannequins shouldn't be allowed to use Fireworks

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Bollywood He-Man

Have your eyes been getting uppity of late? Do they need to be taught a lesson they'll not soon forget? Then you're in luck! Force yourself to sit through this clip from Chahiye He Man He Man from Nafrat Ki Aandhi (1989) and your eyes will be begging for mercy.

WARNING: You can never un-see what you are about to see. GCI takes no responsibility for the sweating, nosebleeds, spontaneous combustion or sexual nightmares you are about to endure.

JZ old, study finds.

Hey, John here. A recent study has shown that I am, in fact, an old person. I know what you're saying. You're saying "Obviously, look at your hairline." but you're wrong.. My hairline has been receding since I was 17; it's only like this cause it got an early start. So then you might think it's my weathered face with the weary look in the eyes, but again you'd be wrong. That's just the result of replacing sleeping with drinking on the weekends.


The hair is called "The Flying V", the message of the picture: sleep is for the weak.


No, the evidence that I'm old came last night, during the Dropkick Murphys/ Offspring concert. Here's a band that I've always loved (Dropkick) back in town after years away. and was I there rockin' out in the pit? Hell No! I was at home MOWING MY LAWN!!! I was even using one of those old timey lawn mowers with no motor... ugh, it bums me out.. Bums me out to the point where I just wanna drink some Fibercon, watch Wheel of Fortune and take a nap.

Unemployment already way boring

While having to work all summer isn't always the most fun way to spend July and August, it's far more soul-crushing to have to spend that time looking for a job. A victim of nationwide lay-offs and spending cutbacks, Paul Nellis launched full-force into a job search today. It was, however, not very exciting. "I wish I just had something to do, instead of having to look for something to do," Nellis stated candidly. "Sure I could play video games, but it would be great if I could afford to buy some new ones," he complained. Nellis then spent the rest of the day, wondering when everyone else would get out of work, and if any of them wanted to get a drink.

"They're not quite out of the woods yet."

RE-INTEGRATION INTO SOCIETY SLOW GOING FOR RECENTLY RESCUED COMEDIANS














GCI PRESS
(Rochester, NY) Having been recently liberated from a secret underground tunnel complex where they were held hostage for several weeks by a rogue rebel faction, members of the little-known regional Improv Comedy troupe Geva Comedy Improv have exhibited a reluctance to communicate, a general fear of the sun and other bright lights, and a strong aversion to human interaction. Such feelings of distrust and paranoia are not uncommon amongst newly freed hostages and it is likely that the worst of their ordeal may yet lie ahead.

"They're not quite out of the woods yet", Explains notable psychologist Dr. Edward Newscomb.

"They have mentally reverted to a previous state wherein they have come to rely upon isolation as a means of protection. The underground tunnel system in which they were held captive was very womb-like and ironically, sudden removal from that enviroment can cause a severe retrograde amnesiac state. That is to say, they are unable to recall any memory of their lives before they went into that tunnel, our world, and the world that they once exisited in has become completely and utterly alien."

Although the prognosis for a full and complete recovery is uncertain, Dr. Newscomb is certain of one thing:

"Those poor bastards are in for one hell of a long adjustment and adaptation period that may span tens of years before they will ever be able to live any kind of a normal life...then again, none of them really lived normal lives to begin with, so that's at least one positive."

Troupe Rescued from Jungle Prison

Famously sexy comedy act 'Geva Comedy Improv' was today liberated from the jungle tunnel complex where it had been held against its will by rebels. Now free, troupe members vowed to resume their blogging, which had been limited by the incarceration. Said GCI spokesman Chris Holden, "I guess being held hostage by fearsome jungle men in a cramped subterranean grotto wasn't all bad. Ted married the rebel leader, and they taught me Five Card Stud. But all things considered, it's good to be free." The rebels, who were mostly slaughtered by US Special Forces in a bloody 12 minute firefight remained optimistic that GCI would one day be recaptured. "Being shot to death by government troops sort of comes with the territory", said one rebel. "I don't blame them. But those comedians shall taste of my blade if they fall once more into the hands of the Seneca Park Snake Warriors."

T.R. UNEXPECTEDLY RECEIVES FREE DONUT, LATER DISCOVERS WHY

I began my day this morning as I often do - tired and in need of my requisite gallon of coffee. Ordinarily, I self-brew (French Roast) and begin my caffeine intake whilst in the shower (you should try this, it ranks just under a very cold beer in the hierarchy of beverages that I like to enjoy while standing under steaming hot running water...for obvious reasons the former is best suited for mornings and the latter for pre-night-on-the-town rituals).

Groggy and faced with the realization that I had previously committed to an 8 O'Clock AM meeting, I quickly assessed that I lacked the nominal motivation required to fetch a fresh coffee filter, scoop an appropriate measurement of black crystalline deliciousness and facilitate a transference of H20 and thereby made the decision to stop by Dunkin' Donuts on my way to the meeting.

I quickly scrubbed, shined and polished myself, grabbed the necessary meeting support materials and found myself moments later standing in a rather long line at D & D. Things were slow going, and the line was considerably longer than usual at this time of day...an unidentified gentlemen two places ahead of me in line (presumably after making a quick time cost-benefit analysis) wavered, abandoned his post and fled sans product(s). I glanced at my watch...thinking about the viability of following suit in a shameful caffeine-less retreat...I held my position. As I would later learn, Fortune would soon smile down upon me for my perserverance.

As I reached the front of the line I barked forth my order (Medium Hazelnut, cream and sugar) while the gentlemen next to me was offered a free donut by another D&D employee. He was confused at first, and about to refuse the offer (a result of being hardened by years of fast-food "would you like to try our super special double hammy-wham sammy roll-up" promotional salesmanship lingo no doubt), but quickly came to his senses when "FREE" fully permeated his cerebral cortex.

SWEET. I knew exactly what to expect next. Like an obese diabetic toddler whose chubby knees kant inward creating an isosceles triangle with his shins (Figure 1A),I excitedly proclaimed my donut selection before the D&D employee could finish the query:

"Blueberry Cake Please!"

FIGURE 1A - Obese toddler with isosceles triangle shins

BAM! The words hit her ears with the sharp clarity of a throwing star from a breakfast ninja who just landed a preemptive strike. My early morning laziness had yielded a delicious confectionary treat. Victory was mine!

Victory was also that other guy's...and everyone else in D&D. It turns out, Victory can also be yours too.

I later learned through the power of THE INTERNETS that today, JUNE 5, 2009 is NATIONAL DONUT DAY and Dunkin Donuts is giving away a free donut with the purchase of any beverage.

Go Forth my friends - go forth and claim that which is yours - while supplies last...

For the Apologies... A Lady

It's too late for you, apologies. Your days are numbered. The damage has been done, so I guess you should be leaving. You're not welcome in this town anymore. "Stuff it, terd nugget" is the new "Oh, I'm sorry." "Move it or lose it, pipe dreams" is the new "pardon me." We live in an age of hyper-confidence and ill-mannered barbarianism, a return to the natural order... For all you apologies still out there, looming in a pool of self-doubt and apprehension, I present to you a lady who never apologizes.

That's right, the goddess of "you get what you deserve" herself, Lady 'muther effin' Justice! Blind as a bat, but hard as a brick shit house. And if you still don't get the picture, here is a series of ladies who also never see fit to vindicate their actions.

And lastly, apologies, lay your feeble lamentations on this limit-less, red-bearded SOB. Sure he may not be a lady, but he likes his apologies like he likes his coffee... cold.

McGurskey! Coming soon to a nextstage near YOU! July 2009.

For the Ladies - An Apology

Chris here. Just an addendum to Corinne's post, below, regarding Scene For The Ladies. I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to any ladies in the crowd who felt that our scene didn't really seem like it was, in fact, 'for them'. John and I evidently have little-to-no understanding of feminine desire, which is all the more tragic considering that I am married and John is engaged. Props to our respective partners for keeping our bumbling, homoerotic ravings off the streets. In your honor, ladies, I thus submit another music video by Mr. Billy Squire - a man who is so 'for the ladies', it makes me weep to live in his shadow. Again, sorry.

For The Ladies

This goes out to all the ladies,

John and Chris did a, well, jaw dropping scene "For the ladies" on Friday night during our Catch 23 show. It involved extreme muscle flexing and the "manliest" uncorking of a champagne bottle I've ever seen. If you were there to witness the action for yourself and it left you thirsting for more, do I have a cure for you. If you missed out, then this is a fair representation of the masculinity portrayed on stage.

Remember about a month ago I posted that video of Lee Hyo-ri, music sensation, queen of Korean Pop? Well, I found the Korean boy band equivalent. Apparently, Korea never grew old of formulaic pop groups like we did in America.

So here's a video that will knock your socks off. A group called SHINee. It's juicy, and definitely dreamed up "For the Ladies" Enjoy!

Summer Slam Weekend

Time to take out some face-insurance - Geva Comedy Improv plans to melt your features right off with a weekend of scorchin' hot comedy. On Friday at 10:30pm we present "Catch 23", where each team has only 23 minutes to rock your world (like the TV show '24', but with less terrorists and more drink specials).
Then on Saturday it's Face Off at 10:30pm, where the Beowolves will try to salvage their dignity, following their humiliating defeat the last time they faced the Roc City Racketeers. Who will emerge triumphant, and who will eat improv crow? Only one way to find out - pay your $7, and strap yourselves in.

BRITISH COURT RULES YES, PRINGLES ARE IN FACT CHIPS

After appeal, three judges decide snack has enough potato to be taxable

From the Associated Press updated 3:56 p.m. ET, Wed., May 20, 2009

LONDON - Pringles' tax status has been crunched by a trio of British judges.

The Court of Appeal judges decided Wednesday that the snack is a potato chip — and that means it's liable for Britain's Value Added Tax.

In Britain, most food isn't subject to the 15 percent national tax, but potato chips are.

A lower court had decided Pringles weren't chips and would remain exempt from tax. But the higher court judges disagreed. They said the snack contains "more than enough potato content" to be considered a chip.

A spokeswoman for Pringles' manufacturer Procter & Gamble Co. said the company has been paying the tax protectively and so does not owe the taxman.

Well...I had a good run...

Hey, John here. Just writing to tell ya that I have developed an addiction that will probably ruin the rest of my life. And unlike other addictions I've faced off against (I'm looking at you, cookiedough) this one is FREE, meaning there's nothing limiting my indulgence. That addiction, you ask? ...Bejeweled. How can the rest of the world compete with a tiny screen that rewards me every time I line up three jewels of the same color? It can't, that's how. See, the game was just a passing interest for me, until one fatefull day I got the impossibly high score of 148,700. Now, I must forever hunt the white whale of Bejeweled points as a mouse clicking Captain Ahab. That book had a happy end, though, right?

...So, this is John, signing off, to a land of disapearing jewels and broken dreams.

Godspeed.

As you have no doubt circled in your calendar, Terminator Salvation is released into theaters this week. In honor of the vast amounts of gratuitous techno-violence it will undoubtedly unload into our faces, we proudly present 'BATTLE OF THE BIONIC BABES' - a shallow and puerile comparison of hot robot ladies from movies and TV. Yes, it's nerdy and sad. Yes, beauty is only skin deep. But sometimes, skin-deep beauty is stretched over a near-indestructible poly-metal endo-skeleton. Bring on the contestants!






Check out the four groups, and then cast your vote below. The winners from each round will go on to square-off in a sandy pit, surrounded by polystyrene rocks, like in classic Star Trek. Oh, and remember that you're voting for the character, not the actress. Natch.


Survey Results - GlowDay.com

Chef Corinne!

If any of you don't know, I am the Resident Chef of the group.
I keep the bellies full in order to power the lovely brains
and quick wit of the boys.

It's become a tradition that after rehearsal on Mondays
we gather for family dinner. Some of my greatest hits
have been enchiladas, rosemary sausage stew, and Chicken Maryland.

While I may not be the only chef, Ted and Tr have been known
to throw quite a hearty meal on the table, I am the reigning
Queen of Family Dinner.

Today I'm going to share my top secret recipe for:

Fatty D and Big Dipper's Ultimate Pasta

*Disclaimer: Most of my cooking is done by "eye-balling it" and loose terms like "a smidge" or "you know, just add as much as you want" or "cook it 'till it's done" are not cullinary persay...so sorry ahead of time.

Ingredients:
flour (3 tbs-ish)
butter (a good knob)
half and half (the little box)
chicken stock (one can)
shrimp
chicken
parmesean cheese
mozzarella cheese
onion
garlic
pasta (we like linguini)

1) Boil salted water for pasta and cook as recommended on the package. Drain and set aside.
2) In a sautee pan, melt butter, add garlic and onion finely chopped, add flour to make a rue and cook for about a minute on medium to cook off the flour taste.
3) Slowly add half and half, mix in roux until there are no chunks of flour and the sauce will thicken.
4) Add 2 handfuls of mozzarella and shake in parmesean until your heart is content. Stir and melt into the white sauce.
5) Thin out sauce by slowly adding chicken broth until you get your desired thickness.
6) In a seperate pan, cook 6 pieces of bacon until crispy. Set aside to cool, empty out bacon grease but leave enough to coat the bottom of the pan. Cook chicken in the same pan. Remove chicken from the pan and cook shrimp until no longer pink.
7) Chop chicken and bacon to bite size pieces and add the the sauce. Add shrimp the the sauce.
8) Plate pasta and pour the sauce over the pasta and enjoy.

Hope my directions were clear enough. If you don't know how to cook chicken all the way through or often set grease fires, do not attempt this recipe.
Ted and I love this dish and we hope you do too!

Look for more vauge yet delicious recipes in the weeks to come!

Ode to Silliness

Sadly this year I am going to miss the Geva Comedy Improv Retreat (however, we don't ever retreat so we call it an "Attack"). The Attack is held on the sacred grouns of the Limpert family cottage on Lake Ontario. It's a weekend of planning, grilled meats, hearty breakfasts, camp fires, having a blasty on the beach, 21 and over cocktails, sand in shoes, and a 2:00am beach wrestling match with John Zaffino. Its hard to capture the fun with words so maybe these vids will paint a nice picture for ya.


Liam Scoockle

NEW WEAPON TURNS FIRE ANTS INTO HEADLESS ZOMBIES

Published - May 13 2009 09:42AM EDT
From the Associated Press
Researchers in Texas are trying an unusual approach to combat fire ants _ deploying parasitic flies that turn the pesky and economically costly insects into zombies whose heads fall off.

The biting, territorial fire ants cost the Texas economy about $1 billion annually by damaging electrical equipment, according to a Texas A&M study. They can also threaten young calves.

But now the researchers are trying a tiny phorid fly, native to a region of South America where the fire ants originated. Researchers have learned that fire ants in their home region are kept under control by as many as 23 phorid species.

The flies lay eggs on the fire ants, and the eggs hatch into maggots inside the ant and eat away at the pest's tiny brain.

The ant will get up and wander for about two weeks while the maggot feeds, said Rob Plowes, a research associate at the University of Texas at Austin.

"There is no brain left in the ant, and the ant just starts wandering aimlessly," he said.

About a month after the egg is laid, the ant's head falls off _ and a new fly emerges ready to attack another fire ant.

"They're not going to completely wipe out the fire ant, but it's a way to control their population," said Scott Ludwig, an integrated pest management specialist with Texas A&M's AgriLife Extension Service in Overton, in East Texas.

Four phorid species have been introduced in the state since 1999. They don't attack native ants or other species and have been introduced in other Gulf Coast states, Plowes told the Fort Worth Star-Telegram.

But it will take time to determine if the flies are effective in Texas, perhaps as long as a decade.

Corinne and Ted Fly to NYC; Terrorist Alert is Raised to Fuschia

GCI members Corinne Magin and Ted Limpert recently travelled to the big apple with no ill-intentions. However, the US Department of Homeland Security caught wind of their suspiciously frivolous activities and went on high alert dark-pink. This suspicious photo was released of the two (potential) security-threats travelling in a small-aircraft...Magin and Limpert were lost by an expert surveillance team at an airport in Newark. The following day, by what the CIA referred to as "dumb luck," the two were picked up on a Russian satellite at the Empire State Building with pockets full of loose change. A surveillance camera picked up this photo of these two extremely dangerous individuals.While Limpert was in the bathroom, Magin attempted to disguise herself as an innocent, peace-loving tourist.
Fooled, for only a brief moment, government officials apprehended the two in the gift shop. Unfortunately, due to the recent repeal of the power to brutally torture people of random nationalities and men with beards, the US Anti-Terrorist Agency is forced to develop new, innovative methods for extracting information. Hoping to instill great fear within these two deviants, the interrogation was administered by a man in a gorilla suit.
"It was an extremely challenging situation... though Magin seemed to be mildly receptive to these scare tactics, Limpert thoroughly enjoyed the experience" officials said. Magin and Limpert were set free only because the government no longer has a formal location to detain innocent citizens. As punishment for wrongfully deceiving US intelligence, the two were sent home on a China Town Bus; a unique torture tactic that is still in question under the Obama administration.

GCI Visits Local Diner

Tucked away in the heart of the town of Penfield lies a quaint little eatery known by the townspeople as The Original Steve's Diner. You may be fooled by it's modest size, but it is a mecca to those who still believe in the power of a good, balanced, post-noon breakfast, and continue to adhere to the fleeting doctrine of Metro Mattress. Members of GCI are not unacquainted with the antiquated society of American bistros, and even consider themselves to be connoisseurs of this lasting tradition (having dined at some of Rochesters most notable local estabalishments). Still entangled in the lasting stupor of the night before, several cast members of GCI decided to put Original Steve to the test.

Upon arriving, GCI's keen eye for potential shed a single tear, finding an immediate challenge within it's gaze. "These Menu's look like they were drawn by four year olds" exclaimed GCI cast member TR. "Mine doesn't even say anything it is just a bunch of lines and crayon scribbles" declared Ted Limpert, disgusted. In fact, the menus had been drawn by 4 year olds. Perhaps hoping to muster some sense of communal pride, Original Steve had employed the tiny amateur-hands of local youth to create the menu covers for his professional business. A bold move by Original Steve. Although GCI applauded Steve's fearlessness, they knew that something had to be done.

A young waitress suggested a friendly contest to see who could draw better than a 4 year old and save Original Steve's from it's artistic folly... GCI accepted, knowing full well that this competition would be anything but friendly. What follows are the fruits of these men's labors.

Realizing that the victor of this rivalry is so blatant it hurts the eyes, it is unnecesary to try to describe his sassy, fantastical depiction of a pirate-egg riding a flying bacon-surfboard. However, the shortcomings of the defeated can easily be described. Nick DiCola's pleasant table-top smorgasbord is lacking one vital thing... plates, making it a repuslive, potentially germ-infested meal. TR does not know how to spell Diner. Michael Borden, an associate of GCI, captures man-made objects in a still life, a style of art that hasn't been popular since the middle ages. Lastly, Paul's depiction of Jamaican Coffee is painfully mediocre and mildly racist.

In the end, Ted Limpert's work of art destroyed and replaced the 4 year old's laughably-abstract, infantile attempt at expressionism. "I just wish he could be here to know what a real artist looks like... and so I could watch him cry" stated Limpert. Original Steve did not wish to release a statement. Another crisis overted with the help of GCI.

Make sure to visit The Original Steve's Diner, it is a fine estabalishment, now with a little piece of genius on one of it's menus.

How to Render Your Film Dated

Hey, John here. As you may be aware, we improviseres are a shiftelss lot (with the exception of TR). Our primary activities include napping, cat napping, and the consumption of media. One thing that the consuption of media encompasses, is watching movies. This leads me to the topic of today's post: how to render your film dated. As you make the movie that you no doubt have rattling around in your head, you must decide if you want to go for something timeless, or stamp it with a big ol' reference to when it was made. Sure it may keep you from making the next Casablanca, but everyone watching your movie will know "Emo was sure big when this thing was made.". Here are a few steps you can take to rub time funk all over your picture:

- Musical cues: Putting a big, current radio hit in your movie will make it connect with the kids...for about a month. Then some new God-awful song will come out and the hero of your movie now looks hopelessly out of date! You started out courting the coolness factor and ended up with "Whoop-Adams Family-There it is!!". Truth be told, dated music can work in your favor. Huey Lewis and the News knocked it out of the park in Back to the Future, perfectly capturing the 1985 setting. Generally speaking, though, keep to a quasi-generic score.

- Cutting edge technology: Watch a cheesy action flick from the early-mid 1980's. Ok, now look at the rich business man bad-guy. "Look how rich he is!! He has a phone right in his car!!!" In the late 80's and early 90's it was cell phones; and in the early 00's it was the current iphone. Look, whatever you put in there, it's gonna be passed up, and look like a freakin' joke in the future. Just use current technology and people won't judge.

- The newest video games: Ok, I love Jackie Chan. But if you've ever seen Rumble in the Bronx, there's a scene where a kid is playing a Sega Game Gear that clearly has no game in it. As amazing as this movie is, it's soo distracting to watch a kid clack an empty plastic box in his hands. Also, movies like Big, that show a computer game being played become a study in 8-bit disappointment when viewed next to today's video games.

These three methods of movie dating at one point came together in a perfect storm of "This is what's big today!!" in one movie. that movie is the 1989 Fred Savage vehicle:


The Wizard. This film had it all Ninja Gaiden footage, "Hangin' Tough" by New Kids on the Block, and the piece de resistance; the world debut of.....The Power Glove!!! (for those too young to remember it, the power glove was a nintendo controler, built right into a glove, that never worked.)

Use these tools and references wisely, and for God's sakes, keep the New Kids out of your movie.

John Zaffino and Ted Limpert declare their undying love for each other

When asked for comment, fellow GCI Cast Member Corinne Magin said "I just couldn't help but smile. To see two of my closest friends so happy made me happy too."