Hi GCI Buddies!
It is my summer vacation! This is very exciting! However, I don't have very much money to spend on lavish trips and caviar massages. What's a gal to do? Work out until you pass out I say! It's cheap and I'll be able to consistently wear the clothes that I spent all my money on. (We are getting personal! Do you feel it?)
I will be working out to this video not because I am sad, but because it's very obviously THE BEST.
"This is JAMMIN!" - Diane Horner (Country Hip Hop Instructor, Hero, Incredible Dresser)
Happy Summer!
Nicole
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
GCI's Fantasy Fantasy League Draft... ROUND 3
TR chose Legolas, the hottest, quasi-androgynous, pointy-eared shim ever to grace the middle-earth with his soft, baby hands. In TR's defense though, legolas does have some sweet bow skills (and vulptuous, angelic lady-lips).
Next up, and we all realize how unorthadox this is (but Liam's mom said we had to let her play), is the only woman who participated in the draft (Dani refused to be a part of it because of "spiritual differences," she threatened to kill anyone who even metioned the league in her presence). But, I guess if Peter Jackson can develop a vaguely-sexual female story-line/love-plot in the middle of Tolkien's phantasmic, homo-erotic epic, than we can humor Nicole while she attempts to play with the big boys (READ: huge dweebs).
Here is Nicole's pick, Susan B. Anthony would be proud.
Next up, and we all realize how unorthadox this is (but Liam's mom said we had to let her play), is the only woman who participated in the draft (Dani refused to be a part of it because of "spiritual differences," she threatened to kill anyone who even metioned the league in her presence). But, I guess if Peter Jackson can develop a vaguely-sexual female story-line/love-plot in the middle of Tolkien's phantasmic, homo-erotic epic, than we can humor Nicole while she attempts to play with the big boys (READ: huge dweebs).
Here is Nicole's pick, Susan B. Anthony would be proud.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Coming Soon to Geva Comedy Improv
In preparation for their full-length improvised fantasy epic show in June, GCI has created a cinematic movie trailer. We hope you love it in the face as much as we do.
Show info:
Geva Comedy Improv
June 25th and 26th
7:30pm
Tickets - $10
Location: Geva Nextstage
Tix: gevacomedyimprov.org
Show info:
Geva Comedy Improv
June 25th and 26th
7:30pm
Tickets - $10
Location: Geva Nextstage
Tix: gevacomedyimprov.org
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Bangladeshi King Kong
I've already blogged about Turkish Star Wars, so it's clear my cinematic loyalties lie with the drug-fueled lunatic fringe of film-makers. In their honor then, allow me to present you with this 'trailer' for Banglar King Kong. I say 'trailer,' because this might actually be the whole film. It's particularly telling that a piece of cinema has plunged off the deep end of reality when the dance sequences are the most realistic part of the film.
Special moments to look out for include:
1:15 - The dude dressed like a cabaret musketeer defeats his foes in a fist fight involving no actual physical contact.
1:32 - Gratuitous snake action.
1:45 - A song clearly dedicated to the noble banana.
2:03 - The Fancy Musketeer uses the deadly hurricane attack on a horde of natives.
3:19 - Cardboardtopia is ravaged beyond the aid of superglue and tape.
Special moments to look out for include:
1:15 - The dude dressed like a cabaret musketeer defeats his foes in a fist fight involving no actual physical contact.
1:32 - Gratuitous snake action.
1:45 - A song clearly dedicated to the noble banana.
2:03 - The Fancy Musketeer uses the deadly hurricane attack on a horde of natives.
3:19 - Cardboardtopia is ravaged beyond the aid of superglue and tape.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
ROUND 2 of GCI's: Fantasy Fantasy League Draft
So, Ted was eliminated from the Fantasy Fantasy League pool because he is a damn dirty Harry Potter lover... and he's a super dweeb. Harry Potter has no place in this fantasy league. Harry Potter is to Fantasy Fantasy as pee wee football is to the XFL. You don't see Aragorn crying to his potentially gay professor or Madmartigan wetting his pants because of a "highly dangerous game of quidditch." And seriously Harry Potter, you have a friggin' cloak that makes you invisible and it didn't even once, for a split second, occur to you to go into the gryffindor locker room... how noobish is that?!?
Anyway, Ted is gone. We checked his notes, and his next pick was Nanny McPhee, so I think we're better off. Next up is TR, let's hope he gets things back on track.
Cheeeheeeck it out:
Anyway, Ted is gone. We checked his notes, and his next pick was Nanny McPhee, so I think we're better off. Next up is TR, let's hope he gets things back on track.
Cheeeheeeck it out:
Friday, June 11, 2010
A New Type of Fantasy League
After a grueling 10 seconds of comprehensive research on wikipedia, Geva Comedy Improv discovered that in 2007, over 29.9 million people participated in some type of a fantasy sports league. "Fantasy Sports is estimated to have a $3–$4 Billion annual economic impact across the sports industry" says wikipedia.
After this discovery, GCI's highly qualified team of innovation managers and SFPA (Sports for the Physically Awkward) experts went to work immediately to come up with the next big hit in fantasy game play. It was Liam, who is considered leader of the nerds for his unique ability to fraternize with "normal people," who had the fantasy league money shot:
"What if we developed a fantasy league that was more accessible to people like us; people who don't know who Labron James is or what side of the field he stands on, people who think an immaculate reception is related to a person's midi-chlorian count, people who aren't completely sure what the female anatomy 'really' looks like... Let's create a new fantasy league where WE are the experts, where WE know the stats, where WE are the heroes! To each of you I bequeath the power of Elrond, Lord of Rivendell, the power to draft a fellowship, to reforge Narsil, and to change fictional history forever! We shall call this new league... 'Fantasy Fantasy!'"
The GCI cast responded with a resounding "KAIYAAAA!!!" and from that point on it was magic. No, seriously. Literally, magic occurred. TR started doing magic tricks. It was probably the nerdiest sequence of events that has ever taken place anywhere...
Anyway, please enjoy the first installment of our new fantastical rotisserie:
GCI's FANTASY FANTASY LEAGUE DRAFT
Oh, and come to our shows:
June 25th and 26th @ 7:30pm
The Geva Nextstage
$10
www.gevacomedyimprov.org
After this discovery, GCI's highly qualified team of innovation managers and SFPA (Sports for the Physically Awkward) experts went to work immediately to come up with the next big hit in fantasy game play. It was Liam, who is considered leader of the nerds for his unique ability to fraternize with "normal people," who had the fantasy league money shot:
"What if we developed a fantasy league that was more accessible to people like us; people who don't know who Labron James is or what side of the field he stands on, people who think an immaculate reception is related to a person's midi-chlorian count, people who aren't completely sure what the female anatomy 'really' looks like... Let's create a new fantasy league where WE are the experts, where WE know the stats, where WE are the heroes! To each of you I bequeath the power of Elrond, Lord of Rivendell, the power to draft a fellowship, to reforge Narsil, and to change fictional history forever! We shall call this new league... 'Fantasy Fantasy!'"
The GCI cast responded with a resounding "KAIYAAAA!!!" and from that point on it was magic. No, seriously. Literally, magic occurred. TR started doing magic tricks. It was probably the nerdiest sequence of events that has ever taken place anywhere...
Anyway, please enjoy the first installment of our new fantastical rotisserie:
GCI's FANTASY FANTASY LEAGUE DRAFT
Oh, and come to our shows:
June 25th and 26th @ 7:30pm
The Geva Nextstage
$10
www.gevacomedyimprov.org
Friday, June 04, 2010
TOO HOTT TO... EMPLOY!?!?
JUNE 4th, 2010
NEWS BULLETIN: CITIBANK FIRES MILF
Apparently, Citibank has just unlawfully fired a woman because she was "too hott." Now, of course, Citibank denies this claim but after some in-depth research I am inclined to believe this self-described "normal woman," as I'm sure a jury of horny teenagers will no doubt agree...
Exhibit A
Exhibit Beeehhoooobs
QUOTE HER LAWYER: "All it came down to was, 'We don't want to deal with you, because you're just too good looking.'"
I'm not here to place blame, but I think it's fairly obvious that Citibank employee's "distractions" are not at all their fault. Take for example these comments that were secretly recorded at Citibank's office while Ms. Lorenzana happened to stroll by wearing "designer" clothes:
"Hey Jack, any update on the jaa.... HOOO MY GOD, I JUST STAPLED MY HAND TO THE FAX MACHINE!!!"
"I knew I shouldn't have worn sweat pants on casual Friday..."
"Boobs."
And, here is some footage caught on a Citibank surveillance camera:
This is just down right despicable. I mean geeze lady, how do you expect grown men NOT to act like they are just starting puberty? 'I can't help it that I have curves,' Lorenzana told the Daily News. 'And I'm not going to go eat and gain 50 or 100 pounds because my job wants me to be the same size as everyone else.' Ummm... I think you just answered your own question there Ms. Lorenzana.
This whole situation brings up a very important question that I truly believe is burning a hole in the mind of all the good-hearted GCI fans out there: Why do I, Ted Limpert, still have my job?!?! I mean seriously, I never hesitate to flaunt my bodacious curves and chasm-like cleavage around the office. My co-workers are always complaining that I am the source of constant distraction and they can't look away when I bring a banana for lunch or have my daily afternoon popsicle.
Exhibit A
Exhibit BEEEE-UTIFUL!
You can't expect me to just go out and gain 50 or 100 pounds so I look like everyone else, and I refuse to stop wearing women's designer clothes! In the words of the ancient Greek philosopher Plato "It's my hott body, I do what I want."
So, on behalf of super sexy, dangerously vivacious employees everywhere I send my support to Ms. Lorenzana in her battle against Citibank. It will be an uphill battle, it will be a long and haaarrr..... HOOOO MY GOT I JUST STAPLED MY HAND TO MY LEG!!!!
NEWS BULLETIN: CITIBANK FIRES MILF
Apparently, Citibank has just unlawfully fired a woman because she was "too hott." Now, of course, Citibank denies this claim but after some in-depth research I am inclined to believe this self-described "normal woman," as I'm sure a jury of horny teenagers will no doubt agree...
Exhibit A
Exhibit Beeehhoooobs
QUOTE HER LAWYER: "All it came down to was, 'We don't want to deal with you, because you're just too good looking.'"
I'm not here to place blame, but I think it's fairly obvious that Citibank employee's "distractions" are not at all their fault. Take for example these comments that were secretly recorded at Citibank's office while Ms. Lorenzana happened to stroll by wearing "designer" clothes:
"Hey Jack, any update on the jaa.... HOOO MY GOD, I JUST STAPLED MY HAND TO THE FAX MACHINE!!!"
"I knew I shouldn't have worn sweat pants on casual Friday..."
"Boobs."
And, here is some footage caught on a Citibank surveillance camera:
This is just down right despicable. I mean geeze lady, how do you expect grown men NOT to act like they are just starting puberty? 'I can't help it that I have curves,' Lorenzana told the Daily News. 'And I'm not going to go eat and gain 50 or 100 pounds because my job wants me to be the same size as everyone else.' Ummm... I think you just answered your own question there Ms. Lorenzana.
This whole situation brings up a very important question that I truly believe is burning a hole in the mind of all the good-hearted GCI fans out there: Why do I, Ted Limpert, still have my job?!?! I mean seriously, I never hesitate to flaunt my bodacious curves and chasm-like cleavage around the office. My co-workers are always complaining that I am the source of constant distraction and they can't look away when I bring a banana for lunch or have my daily afternoon popsicle.
Exhibit A
Exhibit BEEEE-UTIFUL!
You can't expect me to just go out and gain 50 or 100 pounds so I look like everyone else, and I refuse to stop wearing women's designer clothes! In the words of the ancient Greek philosopher Plato "It's my hott body, I do what I want."
So, on behalf of super sexy, dangerously vivacious employees everywhere I send my support to Ms. Lorenzana in her battle against Citibank. It will be an uphill battle, it will be a long and haaarrr..... HOOOO MY GOT I JUST STAPLED MY HAND TO MY LEG!!!!
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