T.R. misplaces napkin; totally misses "Awesome Party"

I was recently cleaning out my desk and came across this crumpled up cocktail napkin jammed way back in the left-hand desk drawer. Ordinarily, finding trash stockpiled under/in/around various areas that I occupy is nothing to warrant any cause for concern or alarm UNLESS said trash contains secret information and/or important reminders for extravagant social goings-on!!

Much to my horror, this particular cocktail napkin had been inscribed (by my own unmistakable scrawl) with all the necessary logistics required for attendance...FILING SYSTEM FAIL. Friends, I have discovered something else in my left-hand desk drawer today - shame. And remorse. And broken dreams. And a fancy belt and cuff links (just in case).

You may have been at that Awesome Party Michele with one "L", but sadly, I wasn't, and all I have left is a crumpled up reminder of a good time that I never had, but might still be able to if I can just work out some kinks in that infernal time machine.

Chris likes Stupid Guns

While I consider myself both an artist and an enlightened 21st Century man, I can't deny that when I see a big explosion, a jet breaking the sound barrier, or a big gun going 'bang!' I get very excited. With that in mind, allow me to present this complication of various people attempting to fire the preposterous ".577 T-Rex" rifle, a firearm seemingly designed expressly for separating the men from the boys. Just looking at the damn thing makes me weep with effete inadequacy. Think you could do better? Well, good for you, Chuck Norris.

Desensitized to violence.

Hello! It's me, Corinne,here with yet another way Geva Comedy Improv has changed my life. I grew up as an only child and now its as if I have 7 older brothers to educate me on everything I missed growing up.

"You don't know every line in Star Wars? You wouldn't Corinne..."

"Uh, Corinne, Zombies want to eat your brains, the fact that they tear the rest of you apart is only a side effect of trying to get to your brain...duh. Why wouldn't you know that? You're such a girl..."

"And then she said...Oh Corinne, stop covering your ears, the rest of the joke isn't that bad!"

Since joining the troupe I have a new found likeness for: violence in films, zombies, George Lucas, bacon, politically incorrect jokes, and offering "the female perspective" whenever I can. So, all in all, this experience has enhanced my life in many ways, and as a way to give back (and also try and one up the boys on addictive internet games) I give you this: I ninja rampage game where you kill giant like zombies with a sword. There's no way you can resist this game folks. Seeing the blood shed makes me smile. I hope you feel the love too.
http://www.ninjakiwi.com/Games/Action/Play/Shadow_Brute.html

A money saving, liver ruining tip from your freinds at GCI.

Hey, John here. I just got back from a trip to Las Vegas Nevada last weekend, and have a piece of wisdom to impart to anybody planning a trip there. Now, as you know, Vegas is for people who like to party. And by party I mean engage in any type of vice yet imagined by man. From slot-machines to gun-play to anything remotely involving boobs, Vegas has you covered. No doubt when you get to LV you'll be eager to do some partying whatever your particular brand is. It is because of this partying that planning is necessary.

The gist or thesis of what I'm driving at here is don't schedule a 3 day trip to Vegas. Let me explain why: you're gonna get there Friday night juiced to get off that plane and start partying, and party you will. Friday night you will take it out and chop it up. You will wake up Saturday and start recovering, spending most of the day nursing your wounds. Then, on Saturday night, just as the horse tranquilizers are wearing off and the penicillin is kicking in, it's time to party again. Saturday partying will be a whole 'nother level of defiling yourself. Like whoa, you'll discover sins that creep the devil out, and that's OK....that's part of the process. Sunday, however, will then be a wash. between the two hours sleep you got before, the time spent ditching the Federales, and figuring out what kind of meat you have 90 pounds of in the trunk of your rented car; there are just some thing pepto-bizmol can't fix. This means that you will pay for a hotel room on Sunday that you only use to sit in as you eat burritos and gently weep to yourself about what you've done. Best bet is get a room for two or four nights, as night three is gonna be a wash.

GCI in Insider Magazine

Rochester Insider Magazine picks up the TV On Stage shows. Click to read the article. Huzzah!

GCI Proclaimed "Idiot Box Laureate"

In recognition of their forthcoming season-ending, face-meltingly hilarious TV On Stage shows, Geva Comedy Improv has been awarded the prestigious title of "Idiot Box Laureate" by the Federal Communications Commission.

A press release issued by the FCC marks the occasion:
"The Federal Communications Commission is keenly aware of the pathologically-obsessive television viewing by the GCI cast. These guys watch way, way more television than can possibly be healthy. In fact, we estimate that their brains have been irreversibly irradiated from years and years of boob-tubing. One cast member watched the first season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer over 200 times! These guys are heroes of voyeurism, and we are awed and terrified by them. Bravo!"

Geva Comedy Improv spokesperson Chris Holden commented on the award, saying "Blurgh.....TV Good. ...me likem watch......HAHAH HA HAH.....funny TV .....ha...er...AH... AHHHHHH... EEEEEEEEEEE ....BAD TV!..... Buffy scare me lot..."

Join Geva Comedy Improv for TV On Stage Thursday, Friday and Saturday, 16-18.

More Bars in More Places

Hello Everyone,

Nick here. If your wondering why you haven't seen or heard from me much lately, the answer is im in England! Its true, but as you know, its virtually impossible to find an internet connection in England, let alone a cell phone signal. So to bypass the anguish that I would have inevitably gone through just to get a signal in London, I declined from getting a phone for my time here.

However, I am currently traveling in a small and quite quaint town called Bakewell, famed for their tarts and I found one. I found a signal and thought I should let everyone know that up-to-date technology exists in the "Dead Zone" of England. What is funny and not widely known is that the signal that I picked up has been broadcasting for nearly 600 to 700 years. I was lucky enough to have found these very old bars in this very place!

Unfortunately I have not been able to find many more bars in this barren of communication technology wasteland that is Great Britain!

IMPROV WORKSHOPS

SUMMER IMPROV BOOTCAMP!

TUESDAY EVENINGS 6:30 – 8:30 PM
July 14th – August 25th

Geva Comedy Improv announces 7 week instructional courses on improvisation for ages 16 and up. There is no prior experience necessary and classes will be taught according to experience and skill level.

Course tuition is $175.00 for the full 7 weeks. The classes will be taught by current Geva Comedy Improv cast members and will be held at Geva Theatre Center on Tuesday evenings from 6:30 PM – 8:30 PM starting July 14 and running through August 25 with a special showcase performance to be held on Thursday August 27th.

For more information or to register, contact Tim Ryan at tryan@gevatheatre.org or by calling (585) 232-1366 ext 3049.

Jason Statham: Money well spent

This weekend my wife and I were finishing up our Sunday grocery trip to Wegmans and she informed me she was going to check out the make-up aisle, thus leaving me to peruse the bargain bins. Right infront of the check out aisle at the Pittsford Weggies are bins of good deals. Toothbrushes for $1.00, Speed stick for $1.00, and DVD's for $5.00...I think to myself "I don't need these items, but I at these low-low prices, I can't afford NOT to buy them."

The bargain bins of DVD's were slim pickens. I was on the fence with two titles, weighing the pros and cons of purchase, when I saw a sure thing. I didn't hesitate. In fact as I snagged the DVD of the shelf I said "Sold." out load. What was this sure bet DVD? Why, it was "War" starring Jet Li and Jason Statham. According to the tag line one of them wants justice and the other wants revenge. I don't know who wants what, and frankly I don't care. What care is that it's a Jason Statham movie for $5.00.

Statham is one bad motha. For the most part his movies are solid and highly entertaining, and you always get your moneys worth. When you rented "Death Race" you knew EXACTLY what you were going to see: a bunch of stuff exploding, a** kicking, and a couple of funny lines, and he is going to do it rather well.

I'm not saying he is a better actor than Sean Penn, or that the "Transporter" trilogy is on par with "The Godfather." However you know he is going to beat up more guys than there are in The Streets of Rage. What I am saying is, if I have $5.00 to buy a movie, and my choices are "War" or "Sideways?" Leave the wine, give me a six pack and I'm going to war.

My Top Five Jason Statham Movies (starring roles only, sorry "Lock Stock" and "Italian Job")

5.) Transporter 2
4.) Death Race
3.) Transporter
2.) The Bank Job
1.) Snatch

Ask a Guy who took a Workshop.

When Tony signed up for our Improv Summer Boot Camp for the second consecutive year, we knew something had to be up. We recently had the opportunity to sit down with Tony and ask him the hard questions.

GCI: Thanks for meeting us Tony. So why did you sign up for a Geva Comedy Improv workshop in the first place?
Tony: I thought it would be an interesting experience. I had never been on stage before outside of a brief appearance during a Tom Sawyer play during grade school. I didn't really like that experience, and figured it would be more fun to be an a**.
GCI: What was the best thing about the workshop last summer?
Tony: I really enjoyed the variety of activities. They tried to teach us so many things to do, and we couldn't even do them all. So many fun games I never would have thought of.
GCI: What was the worst thing about the workshop last summer?
Tony: The day that Ted was there.
GCI: Why on Earth would you sign up for it a second time?
Tony: Why not? It's cheaper than a vacation. It also gives you something to look forward to in a bleak and otherwise pointless existence.
GCI: What do you want to do differently this summer?
Tony: I want to get more people to the final show. It was a blast last year and I hope more people can see it. Also, I want to play some more Samurai Energy Throw.
GCI: What advice would you give to someone who taking the workshop for the first time?
Tony: I would say swallow your pride and avoid creepy eye contact with Liam. Also try not to have "delirium tremors" like Tom Hanks did in Saving Private Ryan. He was an alcoholic in that movie.
GCI: Tom Hanks? Really? In real life?
Tony: No, in the movie.
GCI: No he wasn't, not in Forrest Gump.
Tony: He was just dumb in Forrest Gump, his mother was the drunk in that one.
GCI: Oh okay, thanks Tony (sips from Giant Coffee)

Come ride and the Babemobile this summer.

Why Mannequins shouldn't be allowed to use Fireworks

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Bollywood He-Man

Have your eyes been getting uppity of late? Do they need to be taught a lesson they'll not soon forget? Then you're in luck! Force yourself to sit through this clip from Chahiye He Man He Man from Nafrat Ki Aandhi (1989) and your eyes will be begging for mercy.

WARNING: You can never un-see what you are about to see. GCI takes no responsibility for the sweating, nosebleeds, spontaneous combustion or sexual nightmares you are about to endure.

JZ old, study finds.

Hey, John here. A recent study has shown that I am, in fact, an old person. I know what you're saying. You're saying "Obviously, look at your hairline." but you're wrong.. My hairline has been receding since I was 17; it's only like this cause it got an early start. So then you might think it's my weathered face with the weary look in the eyes, but again you'd be wrong. That's just the result of replacing sleeping with drinking on the weekends.


The hair is called "The Flying V", the message of the picture: sleep is for the weak.


No, the evidence that I'm old came last night, during the Dropkick Murphys/ Offspring concert. Here's a band that I've always loved (Dropkick) back in town after years away. and was I there rockin' out in the pit? Hell No! I was at home MOWING MY LAWN!!! I was even using one of those old timey lawn mowers with no motor... ugh, it bums me out.. Bums me out to the point where I just wanna drink some Fibercon, watch Wheel of Fortune and take a nap.